had avoided making women unhappy. But much more
than in morals his conscience found expression in art.
That Evelyn should use her voice except for the interpretation
of masterpieces would shock him quite as much as an
elopement would shock the worthy Fathers of St. Joseph’s.
He smiled at his thoughts, and remembered that it was
through fear of not making a woman happy that he had
not married. He hated unhappiness. His wish
had always been to see people happy. Was not
that why he wished to go away with Evelyn? A particularly
foolish woman had once told him that she liked going
out hunting because she liked to see people amused....
He did not pretend to such altruism as hers, and he
remembered how he used to watch for her at the window
as she came across the square with her dog. But
Evelyn was quite different. He could not have
her to luncheon or tea, and send her back to her father.
Somehow, it would not seem fair to her. No; he
must break with her, or they must go away together.
Which was it to be? Mrs. Hartrick had written
three times that week! And there was Lady Lovedale.
She had promised to come to tea on Friday. Was
he going to renounce the list, or was he going to
put all his eggs in one basket? The list promised
much agreeable intercourse, but it was wholly lacking
in unexpectedness. He had been through it all
before, and knew how each story would end. In
mutual indifference or in a tiff because he wearied
of accompanying her to all racecourses and all theatres.
Another would pretend that her husband was jealous,
and that she daren’t come to see him any more.
But Evelyn would be quite different. In her case,
he could not see further than driving to Charing Cross
and getting into the mail train for Paris. She
was worth the list, not a doubt of it. If he were
only sure that he loved her, he would not hesitate.
He was interested in her, he admired her, but did
he love her? A genuine passion alone would make
an elopement excusable.
One of his moralities was that a man who did not love
his mistress was a beast, and that a man who loved
a woman who wasn’t, was a fool. Another
was that although every man of the world knew a liaison
would not last for ever, he should not begin one unless
it seemed as if it were going to. In other words,
you should not be able to see the end before you began.
But he had never even kissed Evelyn, and it was impossible
even to guess, even approximately, if you were going
to like a girl before you had kissed her. There
could be no harm in kissing her. Then, if he
was sure he loved her, they might go away together.
Of course, there were hypocrites who would say that
he had seduced her, that he had ruined her, robbed
Mr. Innes of his only daughter. But he was not
concerned with conventional, but with real morality.
If he did not go away with her, what would happen?
He had told her the truth in the park that morning,
and he believed every word he had said.... If
she did not leave her father she would learn to hate