I first thought of making M. Taverneau manager of one of my estates—­now that I have estates to be managed; but he is stupid ... and alas, what a manager he would make!  He would eat the hay instead of selling it; so I had to relinquish that idea, and as he is unfit for anything else, I will get him an office; the government alone possesses the art of utilizing fools.  Tell me what office I can ask for that will be very remunerative to him—­consult M. de Braimes; a Prefect ought to know how to manage such a case; ask him what is the best way of assisting a protege who is a great fool?  Let me know at once what he says.

I don’t wish to speak of the subject to Roger, because it would be revealing the past.  Poor Roger, how unhappy he must be!  I long so to see him, and by great kindness make amends for my cruelty.

I told you of all the stratagems I had to resort to in order to find out what Roger had written to M. de Meilhan about his sorrows; well, thanks to my little sealing-wax boxes, I have seen Roger’s letter!  Yesterday evening, M. de Meilhan brought me some new seals, and among the letters he handed me was one from Roger!  Imagine my feelings!  I was so frightened when I had the letter in my hand that I dared not read it; not because I was too honorable, but too prudish; I dreaded being embarrassed by reading facts stated in that free and easy style peculiar to young men when writing to each other.  The only concession I could obtain from my delicacy was to glance at the three last lines:  “I am not angry with her, I am only vexed with myself,” wrote the poor forsaken man.  “I never told her how much I loved her; if she had known it, never would she have had the courage to desert me.”

This simple honest sorrow affected me deeply; not wishing to read any more, I went into the garden to return M. de Meilhan his letters, and was glad it was too dark for him to perceive my paleness and agitation.  I at once decided to return to Paris, for I find that in spite of all my fine programmes of cruelty, I am naturally tender-hearted and distressed to death at the idea of making any one unhappy.  I armed myself with insensibility, and here I am already conquered by the first groans of my victim.  I would make but an indifferent tyrant, and if all the suspicious queens and jealous empresses like Elizabeth, Catharine and Christina had no more cruelty in their dispositions than I have, the world would have been deprived of some of its finest tragedies.

You may congratulate yourself upon having mitigated the severity of my decrees, for it is my anxiety to please you that has made me so suddenly change all my plans of tests and trials.  You say it is undignified to act as a spy upon Roger, to conceal myself in Paris where he is anxiously seeking and waiting for me; that this ridiculous play has an air of intrigue, and had better be stopped at once or it may result dangerously ...  I am resigned—­I renounce the sensible idea of testing my future husband ...