“Pardon me, Mr. Lane,” he interrupts, “you mistake my object.  I should not dream of expecting you to subscribe to such a work.  But, in my capacity of compiler, I naturally desire to leave nothing undone that care and research can effect to render the work complete—­and it would be incomplete indeed, were it to include no reference to so distinguished a resident as yourself!” ("Oh, pooh—­nonsense!” You will say at this—­but you will sit down again) “Norwood is a singularly favoured locality.  Sir; its charms have induced many of our foremost men to select it for their rus in urbe.  Why, in this very road—­May I ask, by the way, if you are acquainted with Alderman mincing?  Alderman mincing has been good enough to furnish me with many interesting details of his personal career, a photo-gravured portrait of him will be included, with views of the interior and exterior of ‘The Drudgeries,’ and a bit from the back-garden.” (You do know mincing—­and you cannot help inwardly wondering at the absurd vanity of the man—­a mere nobody, away from the City!) “Between ourselves,” says your interviewer, candidly, having possibly observed your expression, “I am by no means sure that I shall feel warranted in allotting Alderman MINCING as much space as I fear he will consider himself entitled to.  Alderman MINCING, though a highly respectable man, does not appeal to the popular imagination as others I could mention do—­he is just a little commonplace!” ("Shrewd follow, this!” you think to yourself—­“Got MINCING’s measure!”) “But I should feel it an honour, indeed, if such a man as yourself, now, would give me all the personal information you think proper to make public, while, as a specimen of what Norwood can do in luxurious and artistic domestic fittings, this house, Sir, would be invaluable!  I do trust that you will see your way to—­” (At first, you suggest that you must talk it over with your Wife—­but you presently see that if MINCING and men of that calibre are to be in this, you cannot, for your own sake, hold aloof, and so your Visitor soon has his note-book out.) “Any remarkable traits recorded of you as an infant, Mr. LANE?  A strong aversion to porridge, and an antipathy to black-beetles—­both of which you still retain?  Thank you, very much.  And you were educated?  At Dulborough Grammar School?  Just so!  Never took to Latin, or learned Greek?  Commercial aptitudes declaring themselves thus early—­curious,