Like an awakened conscience, the sea was
moaning and tossing,
Beating remorseful and loud the mutable
sands of the sea-shore, 355
Fierce in his soul was the struggle and
tumult of passions contending;
Love triumphant and crowned, and friendship
wounded and bleeding,
Passionate cries of desire, and importunate
pleadings of duty!
“Is it my fault,” he said,
“that the maiden has chosen between us?
Is it my fault that he failed,—my
fault that I am the victor? 360
Then within him there thundered a voice,
like the voice of the Prophet:
“It hath displeased the Lord!”—and
he thought of David’s
transgression,[29]
Bathsheba’s beautiful face, and
his friend in the front of the battle!
Shame and confusion of guilt, and abasement
and self-condemnation,
Overwhelmed him at once; and he cried
in the deepest contrition: 365
“It hath displeased the Lord!
It is the temptation of Satan!”
Then, uplifting his head, he looked at
the sea, and beheld there
Dimly the shadowy form of the Mayflower
riding at anchor,
Rocked on the rising tide, and ready to
sail on the morrow;
Heard the voices of men through the mist,
the rattle of cordage 370
Thrown on the deck, the shouts of the
mate, and the sailors’
“Ay, ay,
Sir!”
Clear and distinct, but not loud, in the
dripping air of the twilight.
Still for a moment he stood, and listened,
and stared at the vessel,
Then went hurriedly on, as one who, seeing
a phantom,
Stops, then quickens his pace, and follows
the beckoning, shadow. 375
“Yes, it is plain, to me now,”
he murmured; “the hand of the Lord is
Leading me out of the land of darkness,
the bondage of error,
Through the sea, that shall lift the walls
of its waters around me,
Hiding me, cutting me off, from the cruel
thoughts that pursue me.
Back will I go o’er the ocean, this
dreary land will abandon, 380
Her whom I may not love, and him whom
my heart has offended.
Better to be in my grave in the green
old churchyard in England,
Close by my mother’s side, and among
the dust of my kindred;
Better be dead and forgotten, than living
in shame and dishonor!
Sacred and safe and unseen, in the dark
of the narrow chamber 385
With me my secret shall lie, like a buried
jewel that glimmers
Bright on the hand that is dust, in the
chambers of silence
and darkness,—
Yes, as the marriage ring of the great
espousal hereafter!”
Thus as he spake, he turned, in the strength
of his strong resolution,
Leaving behind him the shore, and hurried
along in the twilight, 390
Through the congenial gloom of the forest
silent and sombre,
Till he beheld the lights in the seven
houses of Plymouth,
Shining like seven stars in the dusk and
mist of the evening.
Soon he entered his door, and found the