“’I couldn’t get the things you sent for all about Town.—­I thot to ha’ come down myself, and then I’d ha’ brout ’umn; but I han’t don’t, and I believe I can’t do’t, that’s pozz.—­Tom[3] begins to gi’mself airs_ because he’s going with the plenipo’s.—­’Tis said, the French King will bamboozl us agen, which causes many speculations.  The Jacks, and others of that kidney, are very uppish, and alert upon’t, as you may see by their phizz’s.—­Will Hazzard has got the hipps, having lost to the tune of five hundr’d pound, tho he understands play very well, nobody better.  He has promis’t me upon rep, to leave off play; but you know ’tis a weakness he’s too apt to give into, tho he has as much wit as any man, nobody more. He has lain incog ever since.—­The mobb’s very quiet with us now.—­I believe you thot I bantered you in my last like a country put.—­I sha’n’t leave Town this month, _&c_.’

“This letter is in every point an admirable pattern of the present polite way of writing; nor is it of less authority for being an epistle.  You may gather every flower in it, with a thousand more of equal sweetness, from the books, pamphlets, and single papers, offered us every day in the coffeehouses:  And these are the beauties introduced to supply the want of wit, sense, humour, and learning, which formerly were looked upon as qualifications for a writer.  If a man of wit, who died forty years ago, were to rise from the grave on purpose, how would he be able to read this letter?  And after he had gone through that difficulty, how would he be able to understand it?  The first thing that strikes your eye is the breaks at the end of almost every sentence; of which I know not the use, only that it is a refinement, and very frequently practised.  Then you will observe the abbreviations and elisions, by which consonants of most obdurate sound are joined together, without one softening vowel to intervene; and all this only to make one syllable of two, directly contrary to the example of the Greeks and Romans; altogether of the Gothic strain, and a natural tendency towards relapsing into barbarity, which delights in monosyllables, and uniting of mute consonants; as it is observable in all the Northern languages.  And this is still more visible in the next refinement, which consists in pronouncing the first syllable in a word that has many, and dismissing the rest; such as phizz, hipps, mobb,[4] poz., rep. and many more; when we are already overloaded with monosyllables, which are the disgrace of our language.  Thus we cram one syllable, and cut off the rest; as the owl fattened her mice, after she had bit off their legs to prevent their running away; and if ours be the same reason for maiming words, it will certainly answer the end; for I am