“Interested?” I cried. “I would die for you, I love you so. And yet I can do nothing.”
“You can do something; you can do everything. You can save me from him.”
“Oh,” I cried, “I know I must appear a pitiful coward to you. It is for me you have placed yourself in this position, while I refuse to try to liberate you from it. If I only could; if I dared! But I am chained on every hand.”
“But you are going to break those chains; you are going to be free; you are going to be happy.”
Her words nerved me. The impossible seemed possible, and yet everything was misty.
“Only one thing can make me happy,” I said, “and that can never be now. I have lost my strength; I am become a pitiful coward.”
“You are going to be happy!” she repeated.
“Miss Forrest,” I said, “do not mock me. My life for days has been a hell. I have had a terrible existence; no light shines in the sky. You cannot think what your words mean to me, or you would not speak them.”
“Will you not, for my sake, if not for your own, exert yourself? Will you not think of my happiness a little? The thought of marrying that man is madness.”
“Miss Forrest,” I cried, “you must think I have lost all manhood, all self-respect, when you hear what I say; but the only thing that could make me think of trying to do what is ten thousand times my duty to do, is that you will give me some hope that, if I should succeed, you will be the wife of such a poor thing as I am.”
She looked at me intently. She was very pale, and her eyes shone like stars. Beautiful she looked beyond compare, and so grand, so noble. She was tied down to no conventionalities; whither her pure true heart led her, she followed.
“If you succeed,” she said, “I will be your wife.”
“But not simply from a feeling of pity?” I cried. “I could not let you do that. I have manliness enough for that even yet.”
“No,” she said proudly, “but because you are the only man I ever did or can love.”
For a minute I forgot my woes, my pains. No ghastly deed taunted me with its memory, no dark cloud hung in the skies. I felt my Gertrude’s lips against mine; I felt that her life was given to me. I was no longer alone and desolate; a pure, beautiful woman had trusted me so fully, so truly, that hope dawned in my sky, and earth was heaven.
“Now, Justin,” she said, after a few minutes of happy silence, “you must away. Every hour may be precious. God knows how gladly I would be with you, but it must not be. But remember, my hope lies in you, and my love is given to you. God bless you!”
She went away then and left me; while I, without knowing why, prepared to start for London.
I had a great work to do. I had, if I was to win Gertrude for my wife, to break and crush Voltaire’s power over me. I had to find Kaffar, if he was to be found, and that to me was an awful uncertainty, and I had to bring him to Gertrude before the next Christmas Eve.