“Why no, mother, I suppose not; but I am as good and as much respected as they are; and I don’t like to have it seem that I am beneath them because I am not so rich, and all that.”

“My dear, I believe we have talked this subject over before, and long ago understood that we desire no position, no companionship which is not ours by right of moral and intellectual character.

“It is the Christian principle to live in all things for the true and the right; to be willing to take our own place in business and society, and fill it well; to think less of what others think of us than of what we in ourselves are; to appear to be only what we are, and be willing to appear thus while we are always looking up to something wiser, and lovelier, and better.

“I never could get the idea of a Christian’s being above or beneath any one in the sense you mean.  His associations are, or should be, such as Christ’s were in His walk among men.  Christ, infinitely endowed with all excellence and beauty, was also infinitely humble.  He neither sought nor shunned any one for His own sake, but lived out the divine fullness of His life of suffering and love without regard to His position or popularity with men.  I said He did not seek others, but I must except the beloved John, and the household at Bethany, and a few others whom He loved undoubtedly for their own sake, with a personal, human sort of attachment.”

“You don’t mean, mother, that we should never seek people for their own sake or our own pleasure?”

“No, surely; but those only who are congenial in principles and life.  Treat others with courtesy and generosity, and after that, allow them to be as indifferent to you as you are to those whom you do not prefer.  Every person has a right to select his companions, and every one should possess enough personal dignity and generosity not to be offended if he is not preferred.

“I suspect you are wrong about the Wilson’s.  If they do not prefer you for your own sake, they have the right not to do so, and you should accord it to them just as you take the privilege of not inviting certain others who might feel the same about you as you do toward the Wilsons.  And more than this, Anna; if the Wilsons live for different principles, making friends for other reasons than you do, why, indeed, should you care for their especial regard?  A friendship built upon the accidents of fortune, distinction, or show, has but a sandy foundation at best.

“There is no security of happiness in any earthly advantage.  Only take care to be in yourself what in your circumstances is noble and beautiful and good, and you will find the right position without any particular seeking.  The love and approval of the good and pure will come to you, and that is what you want of any friendship, and nothing more.

“Half the personal ill-feeling in the world comes of people’s aspiring to what they have no fitness for; they have neither the dignity nor the humility to take the place God in His providence assigns them; and instead of reaching out of it by making themselves nobler and better, they attempt to build up by some appearance which is not more than half true.