“Ah!” said OLD MORALITY, “that looks well.  He’s not the rose, but he lives in convenient contiguity to the flower.”

So RAIKES was put up, and a nice, peaceful, soothing, insinuating, conciliatory speech he made.  In fact, as the Member for SARK says, “He got gallant little Wales down on its back, tied its horns and heels together, partially flayed it, and then rubbed in cunningly contrived combination of Cayenne pepper and vinegar.”

Business done.—­Welsh Disestablishment Motion negatived by 235 Votes to 203.

* * * * *

CELT AGAIN.

  GRANT-ALLEN,—­his manner moves cynics to mirth!—­
  Makes out that the Celt is the Salt of the Earth. 
  That accounts, it may be, for his dominant fault;
  A “salt of the earth” has a taste for assault!

* * * * *

OUT OF SCHOOL!

DEAR MR. PUNCH,—­You are so awfully good to chaps at school that I am sure you will insert this letter.  SMITH MINOR, who takes in the Times, says, that a “PARENT” has been writing to say, that there should be a meeting of Fathers to swagger over the meeting of Head Masters.  Well, this wouldn’t be half a bad idea if it were properly conducted; but the “PARENT” seems to be a beast of a governor, who wants to cut down the holidays, and such like rot.  And this brings me to what I want to propose myself.  If there are to be meetings of Head Masters and Parents, why not a meeting of Boys?  We have a heap of grievances.  For instance, lots of chaps would like to know why “the water” was stopped at Westminster, and something about the domestic economy of Harrow.  Then the great and burning question of grub is always ready to hand.  The “PARENT” wants to have a hand in the payment for school-books, seeing his way to getting the discount (stingy chap!) then why shouldn’t we fellows have a voice choosing them?  Then about taking up Greek, why shouldn’t we have our say in that matter?  After all, it interests us more than anyone else, as we are the fellows that will have to learn it, if it is to be retained.  Then about corporal punishment.  Not that we mind it much, still we are the fellows who get swished at Eton, and feel the tolly at Beaumont.  Surely the Boys know more about a licking than Head Masters and Parents?  You, as a practical man, will say, “Who should attend the Congress?” I reply, every public school might send a delegate; and by public school, I do not limit the term to the old legitimate “E. and the two W.’s,” Eton, Winchester and Westminster.  No; I would throw it open to such respectable educational establishments as Harrow, Rugby, Charterhouse, St. Paul’s, Marlborough, Felsted, Cheltenham, Stonyhurst, and the rest of them.  The more the merrier, say I; and if there was a decided division of opinion on any subject, we could settle the matter off-hand at once, by taking off our jackets and turning up our shirt-sleeves.  The more I think of it, the more I like it!  It would be a game!