Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 28, 1891 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 40 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 28, 1891.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 28, 1891 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 40 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 28, 1891.

Business done.—­An hour or two given to India.

Thursday.—­Army Estimates on to-night.  HANBURY comes to the front, as usual.  STANHOPE tossing about on Treasury Bench, in considerable irritation.

“What’s the use, my ST. JOHN,” he asked BRODRICK, the only man standing by him, “of a family arrangement like ours, if one is subjected to annoyance like this?  With one brother in the Peers, a pillar of staid Conservatism; with myself on the Treasury Bench, a Cabinet Minister, a right-hand man of the Government:  and then, final touch, old PHILIP EGALITE below the Gangway opposite, with his Radicalism, and his tendency to out-JACOBY LABOUCHERE.  This is a broad-based family combination, that ought to make us, each in his way, irresistible.  And yet there seems nothing to prevent a fellow like HANBURY looking down from his six feet two scornfully on a British soldier not more than five feet four in his stocking-feet, whilst he inflates his chest, and asks, in profound bass notes, how are the ancient glories of the British Army to be maintained with men who cannot stretch the tape at thirty-six inches?”

[Illustration:  “Amazed at his own Moderation.”]

When HANBURY sat down, after pounding away in ponderous style for nearly an hour, STANHOPE got up and prodded him reproachfully.  Wonderful how much vinegar and vitriol he managed to distil into his oft-repeated phrase, “My honourable friend!” As for HANBURY, he sat with hands in pocket, staring at empty benches opposite, amazed at his own moderation.

Hours of the usual kind of talk on Army Estimates; the Colonels, Volunteer and otherwise, showing that the Army is as GILL (who has recently spent some time in Boulogne) says, en route pour les chiens; the SECRETARY of State for WAR demonstrating that everything is in apple-pie order, and his right honourable predecessor on the Front Opposition Bench bearing testimony to the general state of efficiency.

WOLMER flashed through the haze a word that has long wanted saying in the House.  Why, he asked, place sentries surrounding St. James’s Palace, the War Office, and the Horse Guards?  Why, if presence of armed men at these particular gateways is essential to proper conduct of affairs of Department—­why should Charity Commissioners and Education Office be left unguarded?  WOLMER should keep pegging away at this question till he gets common-sense answer.

Business done.—­Army Estimates moved.

Friday.—­Gallant little Wales took the floor to-night.  Wants the Church Disestablished; PRITCHARD MORGAN, in speech of prodigious length, asked House to sanction the proposal.  The Government, determined to oppose Motion, cast about for Member of their body who could best lead opposition.  Hadn’t a Welshman on the Treasury Bench.

“There’s RAIKES, you know,” AKERS-DOUGLAS said, discussing the matter with OLD MORALITY.  “He’s not exactly a Welshman, but, when he’s at home, he lives in Denbighshire, which is as near being Wales as you can get.  Besides, his postal address is Llwynegrin.”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, February 28, 1891 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.