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DRAMATIC ILLUSTRATION OF AN ADVERTISEMENT.—­In one of the advertising columns of the Times the paragraph appeared one day last week.  The newspaper containing it lay on the table of a drawing-room.  Elderly beau was making up (he was accustomed to making-up in another sense, as his wig and whiskers could testify) to charming young lady.  Such was the scene.  He asked her to accept him.  Her reply was to show him the heading of this advertisement in the Times:—­“YOUTH WANTED.” Tableau!  Exit Beau.  Curtain.

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[Illustration:  MISS PARLIAMENT’S DREAM OF A FANCY BALL.

A Suggestion for Druriolanus at Covent Garden.]

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MR. PUNCH TO MISS CANADA.

  Oh, Canada, dear Canada, we shall not discombobulate
  Ourselves concerning JONATHAN.  ’Tis true he tried to rob you late
  (That is if Tariff-diddling may be qualified as robbery),
  But BULL has learned the wisdom of not kicking up a bobbery.

  No, Canada, we love you dear, and shall be greatly gratified
  If by your March Elections our relations are—­say ratified. 
  We don’t expect self-sacrifice, we do not beg for gratitude,
  But keep an interested eye, my dear, upon your attitude.

  Railings and ravings rantipole we hold are reprehensible,
  But of our kindly kinship we’re affectionately sensible. 
  A mother’s proud to see her child learning to “run alone,” you know;
  But does not wish to see her “run away” from home, she’ll own you know.

  MACDONALD is magniloquent, perhaps a bit thrasonical;
  His dark denunciations—­at a distance—­sound ironical. 
  And when we read the rows between him and Sir RICHARD CARTWRIGHT; dear,
  We have our doubts if either chief quite plays the patriot part right, dear!

  But there, we know that party speeches are not merum nectar, all,
  And we can take the measure of magniloquence electoral;
  The tipple Party Spirit men will stir and whiskey-toddy-fy,
  But when they have to drink it—­cold—­its strength they greatly modify.

  Beware the Ides of March?  Oh, no!  All auguries we defy, my dear! 
  The spectre of disloyalty don’t scare us; all my eye, my dear. 
  So vote away, dear Canada! our faith’s in friendly freedom, dear;
  And croakers, Yank, or Canuck, or home-born, we shall not heed ’em, dear!

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[Illustration:  A SENSITIVE EAR.

Intelligent Briton.  “BUT WE HAVE NO THEATRE, NO ACTORS WORTHY OF THE NAME, MADEMOISELLE!  WHY, THE ENGLISH DELIVERY OF BLANK VERSE IS SIMPLY TORTURE TO AN EAR ACCUSTOMED TO HEAR IT GIVEN ITS FULL BEAUTY AND SIGNIFICANCE BY A BERNHARDT OR A COQUELIN!”

Mademoiselle.  “INDEED?  I HAVE NEVER HEARD BERNHARDT OR COQUELIN RECITE ENGLISH BLANK VERSE!”