They file in under the portico.  Zoo immediately comes out imperiously to Napoleon’s right, whilst the Envoy’s wife hurries effusively to his left.  The Envoy meanwhile passes along behind the columns to the door, followed by his daughter.  The Elderly Gentleman stops just where he entered, to see why Zoo has swooped so abruptly on the Emperor of Turania.

ZOO [to Napoleon, severely] What are you doing here by yourself?  You have no business to go about here alone.  What was that noise just now?  What is that in your hand?

Napoleon glares at her in speechless fury; pockets the pistol; and produces a whistle.

THE ENVOY’S WIFE.  Arnt you coming with us to the oracle, sire?

NAPOLEON.  To hell with the oracle, and with you too [he turns to go]!

    THE ENVOY’S WIFE} [together] {Oh, sire!! 
    ZOO} {Where are you going?}

NAPOLEON.  To fetch the police. [He goes out past Zoo, almost jostling her, and blowing piercing blasts on his whistle].

ZOO [whipping out her tuning-fork and intoning] Hallo Galway Central. [The whistling continues].  Stand by to isolate. [To the Elderly Gentleman, who is staring after the whistling Emperor] How far has he gone?

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  To that curious statue of a fat old man.

ZOO [quickly, intoning] Isolate the Falstaff monument isolate hard.  Paralyze—­[the whistling stops].  Thank you. [She puts up her tuning-fork].  He shall not move a muscle until I come to fetch him.

THE ENVOY’S WIFE.  Oh! he will be frightfully angry!  Did you hear what he said to me?

ZOO.  Much we care for his anger!

THE DAUGHTER [coming forward between her mother and Zoo].  Please, madam, whose statue is it? and where can I buy a picture postcard of it?  It is so funny.  I will take a snapshot when we are coming back; but they come out so badly sometimes.

ZOO.  They will give you pictures and toys in the temple to take away with you.  The story of the statue is too long.  It would bore you [she goes past them across the courtyard to get rid of them].

THE WIFE [gushing] Oh no, I assure you.

THE DAUGHTER [copying her mother] We should be so interested.

ZOO.  Nonsense!  All I can tell you about it is that a thousand years ago, when the whole world was given over to you shortlived people, there was a war called the War to end War.  In the war which followed it about ten years later, hardly any soldiers were killed; but seven of the capital cities of Europe were wiped out of existence.  It seems to have been a great joke:  for the statesmen who thought they had sent ten million common men to their deaths were themselves blown into fragments with their houses and families, while the ten million men lay snugly in the caves they had dug for themselves.  Later