THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  I did not come to consult the oracle, madam.  I am here simply as a gentleman travelling for pleasure in the company of my daughter, who is the wife of the British Prime Minister, and of General Aufsteig, who, I may tell you in confidence, is really the Emperor of Turania, the greatest military genius of the age.

ZOO.  Why should you travel for pleasure!  Can you not enjoy yourself at home?

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  I wish to see the World.

ZOO.  It is too big.  You can see a bit of it anywhere.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [out of patience] Damn it, madam, you don’t want to spend your life looking at the same bit of it! [Checking himself] I beg your pardon for swearing in your presence.

ZOO.  Oh!  That is swearing, is it?  I have read about that.  It sounds quite pretty.  Dammitmaddam, dammitmaddam, dammitmaddam, dammitmaddam.  Say it as often as you please:  I like it.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [expanding with intense relief] Bless you for those profane but familiar words!  Thank you, thank you.  For the first time since I landed in this terrible country I begin to feel at home.  The strain which was driving me mad relaxes:  I feel almost as if I were at the club.  Excuse my taking the only available seat:  I am not so young as I was. [He sits on the bollard].  Promise me that you will not hand me over to one of these dreadful tertiaries or secondaries or whatever you call them.

ZOO.  Never fear.  They had no business to give you in charge to Zozim.  You see he is just on the verge of becoming a secondary; and these adolescents will give themselves the airs of tertiaries.  You naturally feel more at home with a flapper like me. [She makes herself comfortable on the sacks].

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  Flapper?  What does that mean?

ZOO.  It is an archaic word which we still use to describe a female who is no longer a girl and is not yet quite adult.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  A very agreeable age to associate with, I find.  I am recovering rapidly.  I have a sense of blossoming like a flower.  May I ask your name?

ZOO.  Zoo.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  Miss Zoo.

ZOO.  Not Miss Zoo.  Zoo.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  Precisely.  Er—­Zoo what?

ZOO.  No.  Not Zoo What.  Zoo.  Nothing but Zoo.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [puzzled] Mrs Zoo, perhaps.

ZOO.  No.  Zoo.  Cant you catch it?  Zoo.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  Of course.  Believe me, I did not really think you were married:  you are obviously too young; but here it is so hard to feel sure—­er—­

ZOO [hopelessly puzzled] What?

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  Marriage makes a difference, you know.  One can say things to a married lady that would perhaps be in questionable taste to anyone without that experience.

ZOO.  You are getting out of my depth:  I dont understand a word you are saying.  Married and questionable taste convey nothing to me.  Stop, though.  Is married an old form of the word mothered?