THE WOMAN.  Decent?  There is no such word in our language.  What does it mean?

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  It would not be decent for me to explain.  Decency cannot be discussed without indecency.

THE WOMAN.  I cannot understand you at all.  I fear you have not been observing the rules laid down for shortlived visitors.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  Surely, madam, they do not apply to persons of my age and standing.  I am not a child, nor an agricultural laborer.

THE WOMAN [severely] They apply to you very strictly.  You are expected to confine yourself to the society of children under sixty.  You are absolutely forbidden to approach fully adult natives under any circumstances.  You cannot converse with persons of my age for long without bringing on a dangerous attack of discouragement.  Do you realize that you are already shewing grave symptoms of that very distressing and usually fatal complaint?

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  Certainly not, madam.  I am fortunately in no danger of contracting it.  I am quite accustomed to converse intimately and at the greatest length with the most distinguished persons.  If you cannot discriminate between hay fever and imbecility, I can only say that your advanced years carry with them the inevitable penalty of dotage.

THE WOMAN.  I am one of the guardians of this district; and I am responsible for your welfare—­

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  The Guardians!  Do you take me for a pauper?

THE WOMAN.  I do not know what a pauper is.  You must tell me who you are, if it is possible for you to express yourself intelligibly—­

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [snorts indignantly]!

THE WOMAN [continuing]—­and why you are wandering here alone without a nurse.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [outraged] Nurse!

THE WOMAN.  Shortlived visitors are not allowed to go about here without nurses.  Do you not know that rules are meant to be kept?

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  By the lower classes, no doubt.  But to persons in my position there are certain courtesies which are never denied by well-bred people; and—­

THE WOMAN.  There are only two human classes here:  the shortlived and the normal.  The rules apply to the shortlived, and are for their own protection.  Now tell me at once who you are.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [impressively] Madam, I am a retired gentleman, formerly Chairman of the All-British Synthetic Egg and Vegetable Cheese Trust in Baghdad, and now President of the British Historical and Archaeological Society, and a Vice-President of the Travellers’ Club.

THE WOMAN.  All that does not matter.

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [again snorting] Hm!  Indeed!

THE WOMAN.  Have you been sent here to make your mind flexible?

THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.  What an extraordinary question!  Pray do you find my mind noticeably stiff?