BARNABAS [alarmed] Upset my estimate!  Gracious Heavens!  Does the fool realize what that means?  Do you realize what that means?

BURGE-LUBIN.  I suppose it means that we shall have to amend the Act.

BARNABAS.  Amend my Act!  Monstrous!

BURGE-LUBIN.  But we must.  We cant ask people to go on working until they are forty-three unless our figures are unchallengeable.  You know what a row there was over those last three years, and how nearly the too-old-at-forty people won.

BARNABAS.  They would have made the British Islands bankrupt if theyd won.  But you dont care for that; you care for nothing but being popular.

BURGE-LUBIN.  Oh, well:  I shouldn’t worry if I were you; for most people complain that there is not enough work for them, and would be only too glad to stick on instead of retiring at forty-three, if only they were asked as a favor instead of having to.

BARNABAS.  Thank you:  I need no consolation. [He rises determinedly and puts on his fillet].

BURGE-LUBIN.  Are you off?  Where are you going to?

BARNABAS.  To that cinema tomfoolery, of course.  I shall put this
American impostor in his place. [He goes out].

BURGE-LUBIN [calling after him] God bless you, dear old chap! [With a chuckle, he switches off; and the screen becomes blank.  He presses a button and holds it down while he calls] Hallo!

A WOMAN’S VOICE.  Hallo!

BURGE-LUBIN [formally] The President respectfully solicits the privilege of an interview with the Chief Secretary, and holds himself entirely at his honor’s august disposal.

A CHINESE VOICE.  He is coming.

BURGE-LUBIN.  Oh!  That you, Confucius?  So good of you.  Come along [he releases the button].

A man in a yellow gown, presenting the general appearance of a Chinese sage, enters.

BURGE-LUBIN [jocularly] Well, illustrious Sage-&-Onions, how are your poor sore feet?

CONFUCIUS [gravely] I thank you for your kind inquiries.  I am well.

BURGE-LUBIN.  Thats right.  Sit down and make yourself comfortable.  Any business for me today?

CONFUCIUS [sitting down on the first chair round the corner of the table to the President’s right] None.

BURGE-LUBIN.  Have you heard the result of the bye-election?

CONFUCIUS.  A walk-over.  Only one candidate.

BURGE-LUBIN.  Any good?

CONFUCIUS.  He was released from the County Lunatic Asylum a fortnight ago.  Not mad enough for the lethal chamber:  not sane enough for any place but the division lobby.  A very popular speaker.

BURGE-LUBIN.  I wish the people would take a serious interest in politics.

CONFUCIUS.  I do not agree.  The Englishman is not fitted by nature to understand politics.  Ever since the public services have been manned by Chinese, the country has been well and honestly governed.  What more is needed?