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ROBERT ON SKATIN’.

Well, I begins to agree with them as says, and says it too as if they ment it, that noboddy can reelly tell what is reel grand injiyment till they trys it, and trys it farely, and gives it a good chance.  I remembers how I used to try and like Crikkit, when I was much yunger than I am now, and stuck to it in spite of several black eyes when I stood pint, and shouts of, “Now then, Butter-Fingers!” when I stood leg, till a serten werry fast Bowler sent me away from the wicket with two black and blew legs, and then I guv it up.  I guv up Foot Ball for simler reesuns, and have never attemted not nothink in the Hathlettick line ewer since, my sumwat rapid increase in size and wait a hading me in that wise resolooshun.

But sumhow it appened, dooring the hawful whether we has all bin a shivering threw for this long time, that I found my atenshun direckted to the strange fack that, whilst amost ewerybody was busily engaged in a cussin and swarin at the bitter cold and the dirty slippery sno, ewerybody else seemed to be injying of theirselves like wun-a-clock.  Now it so appened that when waiting one day upon the young swell I have before spoken of, at the “Grand ’Otel,” he was jined by another swell, who told him what a glorius day’s skating he had been avin in Hide Park! and how he ment to go agen to-morrer, “if the luvly frost wood but continue!”

So my cureosety was naterally egsited, and nex day off I gos to Hide Park, and there I seed the xplanation of what had serprised me so much.  For there was hunderds and hunderds of not only spectably drest Gents, but also of reel-looking Ladys, a skatin away like fun, and a larfing away and injying theirselves jest as if it had bin a nice Summer’s day.  Presently I append to find myself a standing jest by a nice respectabel looking man, with a nice, cumferal-looking chair, and seweral pares of Skates; and presently he says to me, quite permiscus-like, “They all seems to be a injying theirselves, don’t they, Sir?” which they most suttenly did; and then he says to me, says he, “Do you skate, Sir?” to which my natral pride made me reply, “Not much!” “Will you have a pair on.  Sir,” says he, “jest for a trial?” “Is there any fear of a axident?” says I.  “Oh no.  Sir,” says he, “not if you follers my hinstrucshuns.”  So I acshally sets myself down in his chair, and lets him put me on a pair of Skates!  The first differculty was, how to get up, which I found as I coudn’t manage at all without his asistance; for, strange to say, both of my feet insisted on going quite contrary ways.  Howewer, by grarsping on him quite tite round his waste, I at last manidged to go along three or four slides, and then I returned to the chair, and sat down again; and he was kind enuff to compliment me, and to say that he thort I was a gitting on fust-rate, and, if I woud only cum ewery day for about a week or so, he had no dowt but he shood see me a skating a figger of hate like the best on ’em!