I cannot with truth deny that the verses you sent have considerably embarrassed me.  It causes a strange sensation to see and hear yourself praised, and yet to be conscious of your own defects, as I am.  I consider such occurrences as mere incitements to strive to draw nearer the unattainable goal set before us by Art and Nature, difficult as it may be.  These verses are truly beautiful, with the exception of one fault that we often find in poets, which is, their being misled by Fancy to believe that they really do see and hear what they wish to see and hear, and yet even this is far below their ideal.  You may well believe that I wish to become acquainted with the poet or poetess; pray receive also yourself my thanks for the kindly feeling you show towards your sincere friend,

L. V. BEETHOVEN.

[Footnote 1:  Nothing has hitherto been ascertained respecting either the date of this note, or the lady to whom it is addressed.]

63.

TO ZMESKALL.[1]

January 23, 1810.

What are you about?  My gayety yesterday, though only assumed, has not only vexed but offended you.  The uninvited guests seemed so little to deserve your ill-humor, that I endeavored to use all my friendly influence to prevent your giving way to it, by my pretended flow of spirits.  I am still suffering from indigestion.  Say whether you can meet me at the “Swan” to-day.

Your true friend,

BEETHOVEN.

[Footnote 1:  The cause that gave rise to this note is not known.]

64.

TO WEGELER.

Vienna, May 2, 1810.

MY DEAR OLD FRIEND,—­

These lines may very possibly cause you some surprise, and yet, though you have no written proof of it, I always retain the most lively remembrance of you.  Among my MSS. is one that has long been destined for you, and which you shall certainly receive this summer.  For the last two years my secluded and quiet life has been at an end, and I have been forcibly drawn into the vortex of the world; though as yet I have attained no good result from this,—­nay, perhaps rather the reverse,—­but who has not been affected by the storms around us?  Still I should not only be happy, but the happiest of men, if a demon had not taken up his settled abode in my ears.  Had I not somewhere read that man must not voluntarily put an end to his life while he can still perform even one good deed, I should long since have been no more, and by my own hand too!  Ah! how fair is life; but for me it is forever poisoned!

You will not refuse me one friendly service, which is to procure me my baptismal certificate.  As Steffen Breuning has an account with you, he can pay any expenses you may incur, and I will repay him here.  If you think it worth while to make the inquiry in person, and choose to make a journey from Coblenz to Bonn, you have only to charge it all to me.  I must, however, warn you that I had an elder brother