ELFIE.  You make me sick.  The thing to do is to lie to all men. [Rises; pushes chair to table.]—­they all lie to you.  Protect yourself.  You seem to think that your happiness depends on this.  Now do it.  Listen. [Touches LAURA to make her sit down; LAURA sits right of table; ELFIE sits on right arm of chair left of table, with elbows on table.] Don’t you realize that you and me, and all the girls that are shoved into this life, are practically the common prey of any man who happens to come along?  Don’t you know that they’ve got about as much consideration for us as they have for any pet animal around the house, and the only way that we’ve got it on the animal is that we’ve got brains?  This is a game, Laura, not a sentiment.  Do you suppose this Madison [LAURA turns to ELFIE.]—­now don’t get sore—­hasn’t turned these tricks himself before he met you, and I’ll gamble he’s done it since!  A man’s natural trade is a heartbreaking business.  Don’t tell me about women breaking men’s hearts.  The only thing they can ever break is their bank roll.  And besides, this is not Will’s business; he has no right to interfere.  You’ve been with him—­yes, and he’s been nice to you; but I don’t think that he’s given you any the best of it.  Now if you want to leave and go your own way and marry any Tom, Dick, or Harry that you want, it’s nobody’s affair but yours.

LAURA.  But you don’t understand—­it’s John.  I can’t lie to him.

ELFIE.  Well, that’s too bad about you.  I used to have that truthful habit myself, and the best I ever got was the worst of it.  All this talk about love and loyalty and constancy is fine and dandy in a book, but when a girl has to look out for herself, take it from me, whenever you’ve got that trump card up your sleeve just play it and rake in the pot. [Takes LAURA’S hand affectionately.] You know, dearie, you’re just about the only one in the world I love.

LAURA.  Elfie!

ELFIE.  Since I broke away from the folks up state and they’ve heard things, there ain’t any more letters coming to me with an Oswego postmark.  Ma’s gone, and the rest don’t care.  You’re all I’ve got in the world, Laura, and what I’m asking you to do is because I want to see you happy.  I was afraid this thing was coming off, and the thing to do now is to grab your happiness, no matter how you get it nor where it comes from.  There ain’t a whole lot of joy in this world for you and me and the others we know, and what little you get you’ve got to take when you’re young, because, when those gray hairs begin to come, and the make-up isn’t going to hide the wrinkles, unless you’re well fixed, it’s going to be hell.  You know what a fellow doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him, and he’ll love you just the same and you’ll love him.  As for Brockton, let him get another girl; there’re plenty ’round.  Why, if this chance came to me I’d tie a can to Jerry so quick that you could hear it rattle all the way down Broadway. [Rises, crosses back of table to LAURA, leans over back of chair, and puts arms around her neck very tenderly.] Dearie, promise me that you won’t be a damn fool.