The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 11, No. 67, May, 1863 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 299 pages of information about The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 11, No. 67, May, 1863.

The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 11, No. 67, May, 1863 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 299 pages of information about The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 11, No. 67, May, 1863.

“It is dead now, child, the past,—­never to live again.  Grey holds a new life in her hands to-night.”  He stopped:  the words came weak, paltry, for his meaning.  “Is there nothing with which she dares to fill it? no touch that will make it dear, holy for her?”

There was a heavy silence.  Nature rose impatient in the crimson blood that dyed her lips and cheek, in the brilliance of her eye; but she forced back the words that would have come, and sat timid and trembling.

“None, Grey?  You are strong and cool.  I know.  The lie dead and gone from your life, you can control the years alone, with your religion and cheery strength.  Is that what you would say?”—­bitterly.

She did not answer.  The color began to fade, the eyes to dim.

“You have told me your story; let me tell you mine,”—­throwing himself on the grass beside her.  “Look at me, Grey.  Other women have despised me, as rough, callous, uncouth:  you never have.  I’ve had no hot-house usage in the world; the sun and rain hardly fell on me unpaid.  I’ve earned every inch of this flesh and muscle, worked for it as it grew; the knowledge that I have, scanty enough, but whatever thought I do have of God or life, I’ve had to grapple and struggle for.  Other men grow, inhale their being, like yonder tree God planted and watered.  I think sometimes He forgot me,”—­with a curious woman’s tremor in his voice, gone in an instant.  “I scrambled up like that scraggy parasite, without a root.  Do you know now why I am sharp, wary, suspicious, doubt if there be a God?  Grey,” turning fiercely, “I am tired of this.  God did make me.  I want rest.  I want love, peace, religion, in my life.”

She said nothing.  She forgot herself, her timid shyness now, and looked into his eyes, a noble, helpful woman, sounding the depths of the turbid soul laid bare for her.

He laid his big, ill-jointed hand on her knee.

“I thought,” he said.—­great drops of sweat coming out on his sallow lips,—­“God meant you to help me.  There is my life, little girl.  You may do what you will with it.  It does not value much to me.”

And Grey, woman-like, gathered up the despised hand and life, and sobbed a little as she pressed them to her heart.  An hour after, they went together up the old porch-steps, halting a moment where the grape-vines clustered thickest about the shingled wall.  The house was silent; even the village slept in the moonlight:  no sound of life in the great sweep of dusky hill and valley, save the wreaths of mist over the watercourses, foaming and drifting together silently:  before morning they would stretch from base to base of the hills like a Dead Sea, ashy and motionless.  They stood silent a moment, until the chirp of some robin, frightened by their steps in its nest overhead, had hummed drowsily down into sleep.

“It is not good-night, but good-bye, that I must bid you, Grey,” he said, stooping to see her face.

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The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 11, No. 67, May, 1863 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.