Why is a washerwoman like a navigator?  Because she spreads her sheets, crosses the line and goes from pole to pole.

Why is it that a tailor won’t attend to business?  Because he is always cutting out.

When can a horse be sea-green in color?  When it’s a bay.

Why were gloves never meant to sell?  Because they were made to be kept on hand.

When are we all artists?  When we draw a long face.

Why are watch-dogs bigger by night than by day?  Because they are let out at night and taken in in the morning.

Why is B like a hot fire?  Because it makes oil Boil.

Why is a schoolmaster like a bootblack?  Because he polishes the understandings of the people.

When is a store-keeper always above his business?  When he lives over his store.

Which is the liveliest city in the world?  Berlin; because it’s always on the Spree.

Why is a water-lily like a whale?  Because they both come to the surface to blow.

Why is a shoemaker the most industrious of men?  Because he works to the last.

What is book-keeping?  Forgetting to return borrowed volumes.

Why is scooping out a turnip a noisy process?  Because it makes it hollow.

Why are teeth like verbs?  Because they are regular, irregular, and defective.

What ships hardly ever sail out of sight?  Hardships.

When is an artist a dangerous person?  When his designs are bad.

Why are tortoiseshell combs like citadels?  They are for-tresses.

Why is the Isthmus of Suez like the first “u” in cucumber?  Because it is between two “c’s” (seas).

What motive led to the invention of railroads?  The loco-motive.

Why are deaf people like Dutch cheeses?  Because you can’t make them here.

When is the best time to get a fresh egg at sea?  When the ship lays to.

Who was the first whistler?  The wind.

Why need a traveler never starve in the desert?  Because of the sand which is (sandwiches) there.

Why is sympathy like blindman’s buff?  Because it is a fellow feeling for a fellow creature.

If a Frenchman were to fall into a tub of tallow, in what word would he express his situation?  In-de-fat-i-gabble. (Indefatigable.)

Why is a dinner on board a steamboat like Easter Day?  Because it is a movable feast.

Spell “enemy” in three letters.  F O E.

Why is a little man like a good book?  Because he is often looked over.

Why is a pig in a parlor like a house on fire?  Because the sooner it is put out the better.

What is the difference between a soldier and a bombshell?  One goes to wars, the other goes to pieces.

Which is the only way that a leopard can change his spots?  By going from one spot to another.

Why did Eve never fear the measles?  Because she’d Adam.

When is a tall man a little short?  When he hasn’t got quite enough cash.