The ship was suddenly ordered to Portsmouth, where the captain, who had been on leave, was expected to join us, which he did soon after our arrival, when the first lieutenant made his reports of good and bad conduct during his absence.  I had been about ten days doing duty in the fore-top, and it was the intention of Mr Handstone, to which the captain seemed not disinclined, to have given me a flogging at the gun, as a gratuity for losing the men.  This part of the sentence, however, was not executed.  I continued a member of the midshipmen’s mess, but was not allowed to enter the berth:  my meals were sent to me, and I took them solus on my chest.  The youngsters spoke to me, but only by stealth, being afraid of the oldsters, who had sent me to the most rigid Coventry.

My situation in the fore-top was nearly nominal.  I went aloft when the hands were called, or in my watch, and amused myself with a book until we went below, unless there was any little duty for me to do, which did not appear above my strength.  The men doated on me as a martyr in their cause, and delighted in giving me every instruction in the art of knotting and splicing, rigging, reefing, furling, &c, &c.; and I honestly own that the happiest hours I had passed in that ship were during my seclusion among these honest tars.

Whether my enemies discovered this or not, I cannot say; but shortly after our arrival I was sent for by the captain into his own cabin, where I received a lecture on my misconduct, both as to my supposed irritable and quarrelsome disposition, and also for losing the men out of the boat.  “In other respects,” he added, “your punishment would have been much more severe but for your general good conduct; and I have no doubt, from this little well-timed severity, that you will in future conduct yourself with more propriety.  I therefore release you from the disgraceful situation in which you are placed, and allow you to return to your duty on the quarter-deck.”

The tears which no brutality or ill-treatment could wring from me, now flowed in abundance, and it was some minutes before I could recover myself sufficiently to thank him for his kindness, and to explain the cause of my disgrace.  I told him, that since I had joined the ship I had been treated like a dog; that he alone had been ignorant of it, and that he alone had behaved to me with humanity.  I then related all my sufferings, from the moment of that fatal glass of wine up to the time I was speaking.  I did not conceal the act of cutting down Murphy’s hammock, nor of throwing the candlestick at his head.  I assured him I never gave any provocation; that I never struck without being first stricken.  I said, moreover, that I would never receive a blow or be called an improper name without resenting it, as far as I was able.  It was my nature, and if killed, I could not help it.  “Several men have run away,” said I, “since I came into the ship and before, and the officers under whose charge they were only received a reprimand, while I, who have just come to sea, have been treated with the greatest and most degrading severity.”