The housemaid (these housemaids are always the cause or the instruments of mischief, either by design or neglect), had left standing near the window a pail nearly filled with dirty water, from the wash-hand basins, &c.  Ned and I looked at each other, then at the pail, then at the admiral.  Ned thought of his Maria:  I of my false introduction.  Without saying a word, we both laid our hands on the pail, and in an instant, souse went all the contents over the admiral.

“I say, what’s this?” he roared out.  “Oh, you d——­d rascals!”

He knew it could only be us.  We laughed so immoderately, that we had not the power to move or to speak; while the poor admiral was spitting, sputtering, and coughing, enough to bring his heart up.

“You infernal villains!  No respect for a flag-officer?  I’ll serve you out for this.”

The tears rolled down our cheeks; but not with grief.  As soon as the admiral had sufficiently recovered himself to go in pursuit, we thought it time to make sail.  We knew we were discovered; and as the matter could not be made worse, we resolved to tell him what it was for.  Ned began.

“How do you do, admiral? you have taken a shower-bath this morning.”

He looked up, with his teeth clenched—­“Oh, it’s you, is it?  Yes, I thought it could be no one else.  Yes, I have had a shower-bath, and be d——­d to you; and that sea-devil of a friend of yours.  Pretty pass the service has come to, when officers of my rank are treated in this way.  I’ll make you both envy the tom-cat.”

“Beware the housekeeper, admiral,” said Ned.  “Maria has made it up with me, admiral, and she sends her love to you.”

“D——­n Maria.”

“Oh, very well, I’ll tell her so,” said Ned.

“Admiral,” said I, “do you remember when you sent the —–­ to sea in a gale of wind, when I was midshipman of her?  Well, I got just as wet that night as you are now.  Pray, admiral, have you any commands to the Misses M’Flinn?”

“I’ll tell you when I catch hold of you,” said Sir Hurricane, as he moved up stairs to his room, dripping like Pope’s Lodona, only not smelling so sweet.

Hearing a noise, the housekeeper came up, and all the family assembled to condole with the humid admiral, but each enjoying the joke as much as ourselves.  We however paid rather dearly for it.  The admiral swore that neither of us should eat or drink in the house for three days; and Ned’s father, though ready to burst with laughter, was forced in common decency to say that he thought the admiral perfectly right after so gross a violation of hospitality.

I went and dined on board my ship, Ned went to a coffee-house; but on the third morning after the shower, I popped my head into the breakfast parlour, and said,

“Admiral, I have a good story to tell you, if you will let me come in.”

“I’d see you d——­d first, you young scum of a fish pond.  Be off, or I’ll shy the ham at your head.”