“Sir,” said Mr M’Flinn, “I am very sure you meant nothing indelicate; but the refined society of Philadelphia, in which these young ladies have been educated, attaches very different meanings to certain words, to what you do in the old country.  The back settlements, for instance, so called by our ancestors, we call the western settlements, and we apply the same term, by analogy, to the human figure and dress.  This is a mere little explanation, which you will take as it is meant.  It cannot be expected that ‘foreigners’ should understand the niceties of our language.”

I begged pardon for my ignorance; and assured him I would be more cautious in future.  “But pray tell me,” said I, “what there was in my last observation which could have caused so much mirth at my expense?”

“Why, Sir,” said Mr M’Flinn, “you run me hard there; but since you force me to explain myself, I must say that you used a word exclusively confined to bedchambers.”

“But surely, Sir,” said I, “you will allow that the name of a celebrated river, renowned in the most ancient of our histories, is not to be changed from such a refined notion of false delicacy?”

“There you are wrong,” said Mr M’Flinn.  “The French, who are our instructors in every thing, teach us how to name all these things; and I think you will allow that they understand true politeness.”

I bowed to this dictum, only observing, that there was a point in our language where delicacy became indelicate; that I thought the noble river had a priority of claim over a contemptible vessel; and, reverting to the former part of his discourse, I said that we in England were not ashamed to call things by their proper names; and that we considered it a great mark of ill-breeding to go round about for a substitute to a common word, the vulgar import of which a well bred and modest woman ought never to have known.

The old gentleman felt a little abashed at this rebuke, and, to relieve him, I changed the subject, hoping that the ladies would forgive me for this once, and return to their breakfasts.

“Why, as for that matter,” said the gentleman, “the Philadelphia ladies have very delicate appetites, and I dare say they have had enough.”

Finding I was not likely to gain ground on that tack, I steered my own course, and finished my breakfast, comforting myself that much execution had been done by the ladies on the commissariat department, before the “Po” had made its appearance.

By the time I had finished, the ladies had composed themselves; and the pretty Jemima had recovered the saint-like gravity of her lovely mouth.  Decked in shawls and bonnets, they expressed much impatience to be gone.  We walked to the dock-yard, where a boat with a midshipman attended, and in a few minutes conveyed us alongside of my ship.  A painted cask, shaped like a chair, with, a whip from the main yard-arm, was let down into the boat; and I carefully packed the fair creatures, two at a time, and sent them up.  There was a good deal of giggling, and screaming, and loud laughing, which rather annoyed me; for as they were not my friends, I had no wish that my messmates should think they belonged to that set in Halifax in which I was so kindly received.