Thus ended this anomalous and fatal expedition:  an ambassador sent with the sacred emblem of peace, to commit an act of hostility under its protection.  To have been taken under such circumstances, would have subjected us to be hung like dogs on the first tree; to have gone unarmed, would have been an act of insanity, and I therefore took upon me to disobey an unjust and absurd order.  This, however, must not be pleaded as an example to juniors, but a warning to seniors how they give orders without duly weighing the consequences:  the safest plan is always to obey.  Thus did his Majesty’s service lose eighteen fine fellows, under much severe suffering, for a boat, “the private property” of the captain, not worth twenty pounds.

The next day, as soon as I was dressed, the first lieutenant sent to speak to me.  I then recollected the little affair of the challenge.  “A delightful after-piece,” thought I, “to the tragedy, to be shot by the first lieutenant only for calling him as clever a fellow as the captain.”  The lieutenant, however, had no such barbarous intentions; he had seen and acknowledged the truth of my observation, and, being a well meaning north-countryman, he offered me his hand, which I took with pleasure, having had quite enough of stimulus for that time.

Chapter XXIV

    Bell.  You have an opportunity now, Madam, to revenge yourself
    upon him for affronting your squirrel. Belin.  O, the filthy,
    rude beast. Aram.  ’Tis a lasting quarrel.

    Old Bachelor.

We sailed the next day, and after one month more of unsuccessful cruising, arrived safe at Halifax, where I was informed that an old friend of my father’s, Sir Hurricane Humbug, of whom some mention has already been made in this work, had just arrived.  He was not in an official character, but had come out to look after his own property.  It is absolutely necessary that I should here, with more than usual formality, introduce the reader to an intimate acquaintance with the character of Sir Hurricane.

Sir Hurricane had risen in life by his own ingenuity, and the patronage of a rich man in the South of England:  he was of an ardent disposition, and was an admirable justice of peace, when the argumentum baculinum was required, for which reason he had been sent to reduce two or three refractory establishments to order and obedience; and, by his firmness and good humour, succeeded.  His tact was a little knowledge of everything (not like Solomon’s, from the hyssop to the cedar), but from the boiler of a potato to the boiler of a steam-boat, and from catching a sprat to catching a whale; he could fatten pigs and poultry, and had a peculiar way of improving the size, though not the breed of the latter; in short, he was “jack of all trades and master of none.”