“No one on board!” repeated the captain, with scorn on his upper lip, “who did you get that from?”

“I heard it from a captain I served with in America.”

“Then you may tell your captain, with my compliments, that he knew nothing at all about it.  No one on board!  Why, d——­ me, Sir, the poop was crowded like a sheepfold, and all bellowing to me for help.  I told them all to go to h——­, and just at that moment away we all went, sure enough.  I was picked up senseless.  I was told somewhere in Stokes-bay, and carried to Haslar hospital, where I was given over for three months—­never spoke.  At last I got well; and the first thing I did, was to take a boat and go and dive down the fore-hold of my old ship, and swam aft to the bread-room.”

“And what did you see, Sir?” said I.

“Oh, nothing, except lots of human skeletons, and whitings in abundance, swimming between their ribs.  I brought up my old quadrant out of the starboard wing, where I was adjusting it when the alarm was given.  I found it lying on the table just where I left it.  I never shall forget what a d——­d rap we hit the old Queen Charlotte, with our larboard broadside; every gun went slap into her, double-shotted.  D——­n my eyes, I suppose we diddled at least a hundred men.”

“Why, Sir,” said I, “I always understood she only lost two men on that occasion.”

“Who told you that?” said Captain G——­, “your old captain?”

“Yes, Sir,” said I, “he was a midshipman in her.”

“He be d——­,” said my skipper; “to my certain knowledge, three launch loads of dead bodies were taken out of her, and carried to the hospital for interment.”

As the boat touched the landing-place, this accomplished liar had time to take breath, and, in fact, I was afraid he would have exhausted his stock of lies before dinner, and kept nothing for the dessert.  When we landed, he went to his old quarters, at the Star and Garter, and I to the George.  I reminded him, at parting, that six o’clock was my hour.

“Never fear me,” said he.

I collected my company previous to his arrival, and told my friends that it was my determination to make him drunk, and that they must assist me, which they promised to do.  Having once placed him in that predicament, I was quite sure I should stop his future discourses in favour of temperance.  My companions, perfectly aware of the sort of man they had to deal with, treated him on his entrance with the most flattering marks of respect.  I introduced them all to him in the most formal manner, taking them to him, one by one, just as we are presented at court—­to compare great things with small.  His good-humour was at its highest spring-tide; the honour of drinking wine with him was separately and respectfully asked, and most condescendingly granted to every person at the table.

“Capital salmon this,” said the captain; “where does Billett get it from?  By the by, talking of that, did you ever hear of the pickled salmon in Scotland?”