“One,” said the master-at-arms, beginning to count.

“One!” roared the captain; “do you call that one? not a quarter of a one.  That fellow is only fit for fly-flapper at a pork shop!  I’ll disrate you, by G——­d, you d——­d Molly Mop; is that the way you handle a cat; that’s only wiping the dirt off his back.  Where’s the boatswain?”

“Here,” said a stout, gigantic, left-handed fellow, stepping forward, with a huge blue uniform coat and a plain anchor button, holding his hat in his left hand, and stroking his hair down his forehead with his right.  I surveyed this man, as he turned himself about, and concluded, that the tailor who worked for him had been threatened with a specimen of his art, if he stinted him in cloth; for the skirts of his coat were ample, terminating in an inclined plane, the corners in front being much lower than the middle of the robe behind; the buttons on the hips were nearly pistol shot asunder.

“Give this man a dozen, Sir,” said Captain G.; “and if you favour him, I’ll put you under arrest, and stop your liquor.”

This last part of the threat had more effect with Mr Pipe than the first.  He began to peel, as the boxers call it; off came his capacious coat; a red waistcoat—­full-sized for a Smithfield ox—­was next deposited; then he untied a black silk handkerchief, and showed a throat, covered like that of a goat, with long brown hairs, thick as pack-thread.  He next rolled up his shirt-sleeves above his elbow, and showed an arm and a back very like the Farnese Hercules, which, no doubt, all my readers have seen at the foot of the staircase at Somerset-house, when they have been to the exhibition.

This hopeful commentator on articles of war, seized his cat:  the handle was two feet long, one inch and three quarters thick, and covered with red baize.  The tails of this terrific weapon were three feet long, nine in number, and each of them about the size of that line which covers the springs of a travelling carriage.  Mr Pipes, whose scientific display in this part of his art, had no doubt procured for him the warrant of a boatswain, in virtue of which he now stood as the vindicator of the laws of his country, handled his cat like an adept, looked at it from top to bottom, cleared all the tails, by the insertion of his delicate fingers, and combing them out, stretched out his left leg—­for he was left-legged as well as left-handed—­and measuring his distance with the accurate eye of an engineer, raised his cat high in air with his left hand, his right still holding the tips of the tails, as if to restrain their impatience; when, giving his arm and body a full swing, embracing three-fourths of the circle, he inflicted a tremendous stroke on the back of the unfortunate culprit.  This specimen seemed to satisfy the amateur captain, who nodded approbation to the inquiring look of the amateur boatswain.  The poor man lost his respiration from the force of the blow; and the tails of the cat coming from an opposite direction to the first four dozen, cut the flesh diamond-wise, bringing the blood at every blow.