“Why?” said Neptune, “why, because she’d been keeping Saturday night, to be sure; besides, she has less to do of a Sunday, and more time to think of her sins, and do penance.”

“But you would not have a prince strike a lady, surely?”

“Wouldn’t I?  No to be sure, if she behave herself as sich, on no account; but if she gives tongue, and won’t keep sober, I’d sarve her as I do Amphy—­don’t I, Amphy?” chucking the goddess under the chin.  “We have no bad wives in the bottom of the sea:  and so if you don’t know how to keep ’em in order, send them to us.”

“But your majesty’s remedy is violent; we should have a rebellion in England, if the king was to beat his wife.”

“Make the lords in waiting do it then,” said the Surly god; “and if they are too lazy, which I dare say they are, send for a boatswain’s mate from the Royal Billy—­he’d sarve her out, I warrant you; and, for half a gallon of rum, would teach the yeomen of the guard to dance the binnacle hornpipe into the bargain.”

“His royal highness shall certainly hear your advice, Mr Neptune; but whether he will follow it or not is not for me to say.  Would you please to drink his royal highness’s good health?”

“With all my heart, sir; I was always loyal to my king, and ready to drink his health, and to fight for him.”

The captain presented the god with a bumper of Madeira, and another to the goddess.

“Here’s a good health and a long life to our gracious king and all the royal family.  The roads are unkimmon dusty, and we hav’n’t wet our lips since we left St Thomas on the line, this morning.  But we have no time to lose, captain,” said the sea god; “I see many new faces here, as requires washing and shaving; and if we add bleeding and physic, they will be all the better for it.”

The captain nodded assent; and Neptune, striking the deck with the end of his trident, commanded attention, and thus addressed his court:  “Heark ye, my Tritons, you are called here to shave, duck, and physic all as needs, but I command you to be gentle.  I’ll have no ill-usage; if we gets a bad name, we gets no more fees; and the first of you as disobeys my orders, I’ll tie him to a ten-inch mortar, and sink him ten thousand fathoms deep in the ocean, where he shall feed on salt water and sea-weed for a hundred years:  begone to your work.”  Twelve constables, with thick sticks, immediately repaired to the hatchway, and sent down all who had not been initiated, guarding them strictly, until they were called up one by one.

The cow-pen had been previously prepared for the bathing; it was lined with double canvas, and boarded, so that it held water, and contained about four butts, which was constantly renewed by the pump.  Many of the officers purchased exemption from shaving and physic by a bottle of rum; but none could escape the sprinkling of salt water, which fell about in great profusion; even the captain received his share, but with great