PEPE. [Aside.] This old fool would laugh
To see me break a straw, because the bits
Were of unequal lengths.  My character
Carries more dulness, in the guise of wit,
Than would suffice to break an ass’s back.

    [Distant shouts, music, &c.]

Hark! here comes Jeptha’s daughter, jogging on
With timbrels and with dances.

MALATESTA.  Jeptha’s daughter! 
How so?

  PEPE.  Her father’s sacrifice.

MALATESTA. [Laughing.] Ho! ho! 
You’ll burst my belt!  O! you outrageous wretch,
To jest at Scripture!

PEPE.  You outlandish heathen,
Tis not in Scripture!

  MALATESTA.  Is it not?

PEPE.  No more
Than you are in heaven.  Mere Hebrew history. 
She went up to the mountains, to bewail
The too-long keeping of her honesty. 
There’s woman for you! there’s a character! 
What man would ever think of such a thing? 
Ah! we of Rimini have little cause
For such a sorrow.  Would she’d been my wife! 
I’ll marry any woman in her case.

  MALATESTA.  Why, Pepe?

PEPE.  Why? because, in two months’ time,
Along comes father Jeptha with his knife,
And there’s an end.  Where is your sacrifice? 
Where’s Isaac, Abraham?  Build your altar up: 
One pile will do for both.

MALATESTA.  That’s Scripture, sure.

PEPE.  Then I’m a ram, and you may slaughter me
In Isaac’s stead.

MALATESTA.  Here comes the vanguard.  Where,
Where is that laggard?

PEPE.  At the mirror, uncle,
Making himself look beautiful.  He comes,
[Looking out.]
Fresh as a bridegroom!  Mark his doublet’s fit
Across the shoulders, and his hose!—­
By Jove, he nearly looks like any other man!

MALATESTA.  You’d best not let him hear you.  Sirrah, knave,
I have a mind to swinge you! [Seizes his ear.

PEPE.  Loose my ear! 
You’ve got the wrong sow, swineherd!  You’re unjust. 
Being his father, I was fool sufficient
To think you fashioned him to suit yourself,
By way of a variety.  The thought
Was good enough, the practice damnable.

MALATESTA.  Hush! or I’ll clap you in the pillory.

Enter LANCIOTTO.

PEPE. [Sings.] Ho, ho, ho, ho!—­old Time has wings—­
We’re born, we mourn, we wed, we bed,
We have a devilish aching head;
So down we lie,
And die, and fry;
And there’s a merry end of things!

[Music, &c., within.]

Here come Ravenna’s eagles for a roost
In Rimini!  The air is black with them. 
When go they hence?  Wherever yon bird builds,
The nest remains for ages.  Have an eye,
Or Malatesta’s elephant may feel
The eagle’s talons.