PEPE.  Pardee! 
Respect my coxcomb, cousin.  Hark! ha, ha!
[Laughing.]
[Bells ring a joyful peal.]
Some one has changed my music.  Heaven defend! 
How the bells jangle.  Yonder graybeard, now,
Rings a peal vilely.  He’s more used to knells,
And sounds them grandly.  Only give him time,
And, I’ll be sworn, he’ll ring your knell out yet.

LANCIOTTO.  Pepe, you are but half a fool.

PEPE.  My lord,
I can return the compliment in full.

LANCIOTTO.  So, you are ready.

PEPE.  Truth is always so.

LANCIOTTO.  I shook you rudely; here’s a florin.
[Offers money.

PEPE.  No: 
My wit is merchandise, but not my honour.

LANCIOTTO.  Your honour, sirrah!

PEPE.  Why not?  You great lords
Have something you call lordly honour; pray,
May not a fool have foolish honour, too? 
Cousin, you laid your hand upon my coat—­
’Twas the first sacrilege it ever knew—­And
you shall pay it.  Mark!  I promise you.

LANCIOTTO. [Laughing.] Ha, ha! you bluster well.  Upon my life,
You have the tilt-yard jargon to a breath. 
Pepe, if I should smite you on the cheek—­
Thus, gossip, thus—­[Strikes him.] what would you then demand?

PEPE.  Your life!

  LANCIOTTO. [Laughing.] Ha, ha! there is the camp-style, too,

A very cut-throat air!  How this shrewd fool Makes the punctilio of honour show! 
Change helmets into coxcombs, swords to baubles,
And what a figure is poor chivalry! 
Thanks for your lesson, Pepe.
          
                                                     [Exit.

PEPE.  Ere I’m done,
You’ll curse as heartily, you limping beast! 
Ha! so we go—­Lord Lanciotto, look!
[Walks about, mimicking him.]
Here is a leg and camel-back, forsooth,
To match your honour and nobility! 
You miscreated scarecrow, dare you shake,
Or strike in jest, a natural man like me?—­
You cursed lump, you chaos of a man,
To buffet one whom Heaven pronounces good!
[Bells ring.]
There go the bells rejoicing over you: 
I’ll change them back to the old knell again. 
You marry, faugh!  Beget a race of elves;
Wed a she-crocodile, and keep within
The limits of your nature!  Here we go,
Tripping along to meet our promised bride,
Like a rheumatic elephant!—­ha, ha! [Laughing.

[Exit, mimicking LANCIOTTO.

SCENE III.

The Same.  A Room in the Same.  Enter LANCIOTTO, hastily.