PAOLO.  I prithee, Rene, charm our ears again
With the same song you sang me yesterday. 
Here are fresh listeners.

RENE.  Really, my good lord,
My voice is out of joint.  A grievous cold—­

[Coughs.

PAOLO.  A very grievous, but convenient cold,
Which always racks you when you would not sing.

RENE.  O, no, my lord!  Besides, I hoped to hear
My ditty warbled into fairer ears,
By your own lips; to better purpose, too.

[The NOBLEMEN all laugh.

FIRST NOBLEMAN.  Rene has hit it.  Music runs to waste
In ears like ours.

SECOND NOBLEMAN.  Nay, nay; chaunt on, sweet Count.

PAOLO. [Coughing.] Alack! you hear, I’ve caught poor Rene’s cough.

FIRST NOBLEMAN.  That would not be, if we wore petticoats.

[The others laugh.

  PAOLO.  O, fie!

  FIRST NOBLEMAN.  So runs the scandal to our ears.

  SECOND NOBLEMAN.  Confirmed by all our other senses, Count.

FIRST NOBLEMAN.  Witnessed by many a doleful sigh, poured out By many a breaking heart in Rimini.

  SECOND NOBLEMAN.  Poor girls!

FIRST NOBLEMAN.[Mimicking a lady.] Sweet Count! sweet
Count Paolo!  O! 
Plant early violets upon my grave! 
Thus go a thousand voices to one tune.

[The others laugh.

  PAOLO.  ’Ods mercy! gentlemen, you do me wrong.

  FIRST NOBLEMAN.  And by how many hundred, more or less?

  PAOLO.  Ah! rogues, you’d shift your sins upon my shoulders.

SECOND NOBLEMAN.  You’d bear them stoutly.

FIRST NOBLEMAN.  It were vain to give Drops to god Neptune.  You’re the sea of love That swallows all things.

SECOND NOBLEMAN.  We the little fish
That meanly scull about within your depths.

PAOLO.  Goon, goon!  Talk yourselves fairly out.
[PEPE laughs without.
But, hark! here comes the fool!  Fit company
For this most noble company of wits!

[Enter PEPE, laughing violently.]

Why do you laugh?

PEPE.  I’m laughing at the world. 
It has laughed long enough at me; and so
I’ll turn the tables.  Ho! ho! ho!  I’ve heard
A better joke of Uncle Malatesta’s
Than any I e’er uttered. [Laughing.

  ALL.  Tell it, fool.

PEPE.  Why, do you know—­upon my life, the best
And most original idea on earth: 
A joke to put in practice, too.  By Jove! 
I’ll bet my wit ’gainst the stupidity
Of the best gentleman among you all,
You cannot guess it.

  ALL.  Tell us, tell us, fool.

  PEPE.  Guess it, guess it, fools.

  PAOLO Come, disclose, disclose!

  PEPE.  He has a match afoot.—­