Introduction                           Goop!  Goop!  Goop! 
Window-Smoochers                       Visiting
A Low Trick                            Picking and Stealing
When to Go                             Loyalty
“Ain’t”                                Indolence
Nell the Nibbler                       The Law of Hospitality
Justice                                The Flower Hospital
A Puzzle                               Puppy Goops
Frankness                              Exaggeration
The Duty of the Strong                 Noise!  Noise!  Noise! 
Walking with Papa                      Stealing Rides
Piano Torture                          Untidy Goops
At Table                               A Goop Party
How to Eat Soup                        Inquisitiveness
Baby’s Apology                         Don’t Be Good
In the Street                          Write Right! 
Sick Furniture                         Wet Feet
Borrowed Plumes                        Dress Quickly! 
The Goop Picnic                        Danger! 
Book-Manners                           The Reason Why
Poor Mother!                            In Goop Attire
Cheating                               Impossible

[Illustration]

[Illustration:  Introduction]

INTRODUCTION

  Children, although you might expect
  My manners to be quite correct
  (For since I fancy I can teach,
  I ought to practice what I preach),
  ’Tis true that I have often braved
  My mother’s wrath, and misbehaved! 
  And almost every single rule
  I broke, before I went to school! 
  For that is how I learned the way
  To teach you etiquette to-day. 
  So when you chance to take a look
  At all the maxims in the book,
  You’ll see that most of them are true,
  I found them out, and so will you,
  For if you are as Goop derided,
  You may perhaps reform, as I did!

[Illustration]

[Illustration:  Window-Smoochers]

WINDOW-SMOOCHERS

  Little Goops are marking
    On the window pane;
    I forbid, in vain! 
  Noses, when they’re greasy,
  Leave a smooch so easy! 
    Rub it out again! 
  I shall have to scold them,
  For I’ve often told them,
    Kindly, to refrain!

[Illustration]

[Illustration:  A Low Trick]

A LOW TRICK

  The meanest trick I ever knew
  Was one I know you never do. 
  I saw a Goop once try to do it,
  And there was nothing funny to it. 
  He pulled a chair from under me
  As I was sitting down; but he
  Was sent to bed, and rightly, too. 
  It was a horrid thing to do!

[Illustration]

[Illustration:  When To Go]

WHEN TO GO

  When you go a-calling,
    Never stay too late;
  You will wear your welcome out
    If you hesitate! 
  Just before they’re tired of you,
    Just before they yawn,
  Before they think you are a Goop,
    And wish that you were gone,
  While they’re laughing with you,
    While they like you so,
  While they want to keep you,—­
    That’s the time to go!