refined, intellectual France—­cannot actually need this violation of decorum, not to say of decency!  This is the second time that similar rudeness has been encountered by us, on entering the country; and, to make the matter worse, females have been the sufferers.  I made a pretty vigorous remonstrance, in very animated French, and it had the effect of preventing a repetition of the rudeness.  The men pleaded their orders, and I pleaded the rights of hospitality and propriety, as well as a determination not to submit to the insults.  I would have made a detour of a hundred leagues to enter at another point in preference.

In the course of the conversation that succeeded, the officers explained to me the difficulties they had to contend with, which certainly are not trifling.  As to station, they said that made no great difference, your duchess being usually an inveterate smuggler.  Travellers are not content to supply their own wants, but they purchase for all their friends.  This I knew to be true, though not by experience, you will permit me to say, the ambassador’s bags, half the time, containing more prohibited articles than despatches.  But, notwithstanding this explanation, I did not deem the case of one who bought only for himself the less hard.  It is so easy to conceal light articles, that, except in instances where is reason for distrust, it were better to confide in character.  If anything could induce me to enter seriously into the contraband, it would be such treatment.

The officers explained to me the manner in which smuggling is conducted.  The usual mode is to cross the fields in the night; for when two custom-houses are passed, the jewellery may be put in a common trunk, and sent forward by the diligence, unless there is some particular grounds of suspicion.  They know perfectly well, that bargains are constantly made in Geneva, to deliver purchases in Paris; but, with all their care and vigilance, the smugglers commonly succeed.

On a recent occasion, however, the officers had been more successful.  A cart loaded with split wood (larch) had boldly passed the door of the douane.  The man who drove it was a peasant, and altogether he appeared to be one driving a very common burthen to his own home.  The cart, however, was stopped and the wood unloaded; while reloading, for nothing but wood was found, one stick attracted attention.  It was muddy, as if it had fallen into the road.  The mud, however, had a suspicious malice prepense air about it; it seemed as if it were smeared on, and by examining it closely, two seams were discovered, which it had been hoped the mud would conceal.  The billet had been split in two, hollowed, and reunited by means of pegs.  The mud was to hide these pegs and the seams, as I have told you, and in the cavity were found seventy gold watches!  I saw the billet of wood, and really felt less resentment at the old virago who had offended us.  The officers caught relenting in my eyes and inquired what I thought of it, and I told them that we were not muddy logs of larch.