Russia, always a menace to civilization, is prepared to aid China in her resistance against modern progress, and will not hesitate to fly to the succor of the unspeakable Turk when the opportune moment comes.

We do not entirely believe the story that El Mahdi is dead.  On the contrary, we confidently expect that this enterprising false prophet will turn up in a reconstructed condition at Washington after the 4th of next March, howling for a post-office.

BLUE CUT, TENN., May 2, 1885.—­The second section of the train bearing the Illinois legislature to New Orleans was stopped near this station by bandits last night.  After relieving the bandits of their watches and money, the excursionists proceeded on their journey with increased enthusiasm.

Hamlin Garland has finally crawled out of the populist party and has reappeared in Chicago fiercer than ever for the predominance of realism in literature and art.  He regrets to find that during his absence Franklin H. Head has relapsed into romanticism and that the verist’s fences generally in these parts are in bad condition.

The national Carl Schurz committee will meet in New York on the 1st of April to fix a date and place for the national Carl Schurz convention.  As Chicago will make no attempt to secure this convention, we do not mind telling St. Louis, Philadelphia and Cincinnati that the biggeet inducement which can be held out to the Carl Schurz party is a diet of oatmeal and skim milk and piano—­rent free.

“You are looking tough, O Diogenes,” quoth Socrates.  “Now, by the dog, what have you been doing?” “I have been searching for an honest man in the Chicago City Council,” replied the grim philosopher mournfully, “With what result?” inquired the other.  “Well, you see,” said Diogenes sarcastically, “my pockets are cleaned out and my lantern is gone!  I praise Zeus that they left me my girdle!”

Major McKinley is being highly commended because he would not allow the Ohio delegation to betray John Sherman in the Republican convention.  Other men from other States were perhaps just as loyal, but it is so seldom that an Ohio politician does the decent thing that when one honorable Ohio politician is found he excites quite as much surprise and admiration as a double-headed calf or any other natural curiosity would.

Oh, what a beautiful Hill.  How it looms up in the Misty Horizon.  See the Indians on the hill.  They are Tammany braves.  The Hill belongs to the Indians.  Why are the Indians on the Hill?  They are hunting for the flower which they Fondly hope Blooms on the Hill.  Not this year—­some other Year, but not this year.  The Flower is Roosting high.  It has resigned.  Are the Indians resigned?  They are not as Resigned as they Would be if they could Find the Flower.  Alas that there should be More Sorrows than Flowers in this World.