March, 1878._

In the spring of 1879 the St. Louis Times-Journal printed the following April verses by Field, which were copied without the author’s name by London Truth, and went the rounds of the papers in this country, credited to that misnamed paper, and attributed, much to Field’s glee, to William S. Gilbert, then at the height of his Pinafore and Bab Ballad fame: 

  APRIL VESPERS

  The turtles drum in the pulseless bay,
    The crickets creak in the prickful hedge,
    The bull-frogs boom in the puddling sedge
  And the whoopoe whoops its vesper lay
                        Away
  In the twilight soft and gray.

  Two lovers stroll in the glinting gloam—­
    His hand in her’n and her’n in his—­
    She blushes deep—­he is talking biz—­
  They hug and hop as they listless roam—­
                        They roam—­
  It’s late when they get back home.

  Down by the little wicket-gate,
    Down where the creepful ivy grows,
    Down where the sweet nasturtium blows,
  A box-toed parent lies in wait—­
                        In wait
  For the maiden and her mate.

  Let crickets creak and bull-frogs boom,
    The whoopoe wail in the distant dell—­
    Their tuneful throbs will ne’er dispel
  The planted pain and the rooted gloom—­
                        The gloom
  Of the lover’s dismal doom._

Just by the way of illustrating in fac-simile and preserving the character of the newspaper paragrapher’s work in the last century, the following “Funny Fancies,” by Field, from the St. Louis Journal of August 3d, 1878, may be of interest: 

  A green Christmas—­No, no, we mean a green peach makes a fat
  graveyard.

  A philanthropic citizen of Memphis has wedded a Miss Hoss.  He doubtless
  took her for wheel or whoa.

  We have tried every expedient and we find that the simple legend: 
  “Smallpox in this House” will preserve the most uninterrupted bliss in
  an editorial room.

  There is a moment when a man’s soul revolts against the dispensations
  of Providence, and that is when he finds that his wife has been using
  his flannel trousers to wrap up the ice in.

  To the average Athenian the dearest spot on earth is the Greece spot.

  Mr. Deer was hung at Atlanta.  Of course he died game.

  ’Tis pleasant at the close of day
        To play
        Croquet.

  And if your partner makes a miss
        Why kiss
        The siss.

  But if she gives your chin a thwack,
        Why whack
        Her back!