“Yes, it probably is nothing.  Misha would be of a different opinion, I am sure.”

“No, he would not.”

There was a silence for a while, and then she said, sighing:  (line illegible...) “For instance, we wanted to give you the whole outline inviting you to do something for your country—­and you refused to help.”

“Baroness,” I said, “honestly and truly I don’t understand these speculations.  Just as honestly and just as truly I don’t care for them, no matter what they are for.  I hate this manner of operation.  The manner!  I hate plots.  I hate underground work, and the only thing I care for—­is my own comfort and my own affairs.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about,” she said, “or the atmosphere has made you so clever, that I don’t know whether you are trying to get something out of me or not.  Very well, I am conspiring.  I am now with these people, with whom I would not have thought of being—­only three months ago.  As soon as I succeed—­I shall leave all and become free and independent....”

Then she corrected herself; “I don’t mean to say, of course, I am not independent now, but....  What time is it?”

I told her.

“Thank you.  So you see....  What were we talking about?...  Ah, yes, indeed,—­how silly of me!  Well so I am in a big game.  It may seem that I am in the wrong.  But think of the time when there will be a moment, when just a few persons, maybe only one person, will be able to appear again on the stage and become the nucleus of regeneration?  And if I am wrong—­and such moment will never come—­it is so easy to get rid of those whom many persons are trying to preserve....”

“Yes,” I said, smiling at her enthusiasm and innocent cynicism.

“Please omit your insinuations and sarcasm, you bad thing.  I only see you are not patriotic, or you have something personal against me.”

“You can judge better than others on this last point.  It looks to me as though you were wrong about the rest, however....

(a page torn out)

“...  I saw Tatiana (don’t ask me questions, if you please!) and the girl said that there are only two acceptable ways:  to be released by the will of the people, or taken against their will, a kidnapping staged.  Other methods will meet with a refusal.  That is why the Emperor refused a formal foreign intervention, for it would place them in a position of parasites with the “ex” title.  After everything is through—­all of your Kerenskys—­a parasite could not be popular and desirable....  Well, she got up,—­“goodby!  Kiss Maroossia for me.  And here is a friendly warning:  don’t talk. It is dangerous. Don’t trust. It is silly.  Write to Sophie’s house in Paris—­it will reach me.  So sorry we cannot be together!”

She left me.

15.

Saw a real picture of the time:  General S-sky in the Renault with Joffe!  Smiles and hand-shakes.  Red arm-bands.  The tall Dolivo-Dobrovolsky from the Foreign Office was with this couple.  In January, when S-sky got his car he said:  “I’d rather sell the car than let a Jew ride in it,” when Gunzburg asked to use the automobile.