insurrections are not periodically quelled by regular
and comfortable meals. Country doctors, for the
same reason, not unfrequently manifest a stronger
predilection for their employers’ bottles than
their patients do for theirs. In the absence
of innocuous and benign appliances, the deleterious
are had recourse to exorcise the fiend that is raging
within them. These views are explicable by the
laws of physiology, but this is not the place for
such disquisitions. One reason why the temperance
movement has been arrested in this country is, that
while one sensual gratification was withdrawn, another
was not provided. The intellectual excitements
which were offered as a substitute have not been found
to answer the desired purpose. Our temperance
coffee-houses are singularly deficient in gastronomical
attractions; and the copious decoctions of coffee and
chicory which are there served up, with that nauseous
accompaniment, buttered toast, are more calculated
to create a craving for stimulants than allay it.
The lower classes of Scotland are as deficient in knowledge
of cookery as the natives of the Sandwich Islands;
and if our apostles of temperance would employ a few
clever cooks to go through the country and teach the
wives and daughters of the workingmen to dress meat
and vegetables, and make soups, and cheap and palatable
farinaceous messes, they would do more in one year
to advance their cause, than in twenty by means of
long winded moral orations, graced with all the flowers
of oratory.—
Wilson on the Social Condition
of France as compared with that of England.
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THE MONKEY AND THE WATCH.—A distinguished
lord, going from home, left his watch hanging beside
his bed. A tame monkey, who was in the habit
of imitating the actions of his master, took the watch,
and with the aid of a band, fastened it to his side.
A moment afterward he drew it forth and wound it.
Then he looked at it, and said, “This goes too
fast.” He opened it, put back the hand,
and again adjusted it to his side. A few moments
passed, and he took it in his hand once more.
“Oh!” said the imitator, “now it
goes too slow. What a trouble it is! How
can it be remedied?” He winds it again with the
regulator; then closes it, and applies it gracefully
to the ear. “This movement is wrong, still;”
and he wound it with the key in another way. Then
bent to listen to it. “It does not go well,
yet.” He opened the case; looked and examined
every part; touched this wheel, stopped that, moved
another; in short, injured it so much by altering and
shaking it in his hand, that it at length ceased all
motion. Guard us, O propitious Heaven! from quacks
that perform amongst men, as did the monkey with the
unfortunate watch.—From the Italian.
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