“Yes, indeed,” replied the lady, who had forgotten that in telling her daughters’ secrets, she had let out her own.  “But I was married so young, so very young, that I am almost ashamed to think of it.  Well Mr Heaviside, as I was saying, although not so good-looking as her sister, Mr Revel, who is a good judge in these matters, declared that by the theatre lights Charlotte would be reckoned a very fine woman.  We proposed it to her, and, after a little pouting, she consented.  The only difficulty was whether she should attempt tragedy or comedy.  Her features were considered rather too sharp for comedy, and her figure not quite tall enough for tragedy.  She herself preferred tragedy, which decided the point; and Mr Revel, who knows all the actors, persuaded Mr Y——­ (you know who I mean, the great tragic actor) to come here, and give his opinion of her recitation.  Mr Y——­ was excessively polite; declared that she was a young lady of great talent, but that a slight lisp, which she has, unfitted her most decidedly for tragedy.  Of course, it was abandoned for comedy, which she studied some time, and when we considered her competent, Mr Revel had interest enough to induce the great Mr M——­ to come and give his opinion.  Charlotte performed her part, as I thought, remarkably well, and when she had finished she left the room, that Mr M——­ might not be checked by her presence from giving me his unbiased opinion.”

“Which was favourable, ma’am, I presume; for, if not fitted for the one, she naturally must have been fit for the other.”

“So I thought,” replied the lady, to this polite non sequitur of the gentleman.  “But Mr M——­ is a very odd man, and if I must say it, not very polite.  What do you think, Mr Heaviside, as soon as she left the room he rose from his chair, and, twisting up the corner of his mouth, as he looked me in the face, he said, ’Madam, it is my opinion that your daughter’s comedy, whenever she makes her appearance on the boards, will, to use a Yankee expression, be most particularly damned!  I wish you a very good morning.’”

“Very rude, indeed, madam; most excessively unpolite of Mr M——.  I should not have thought it possible.”

“Well, Mr Heaviside, as for Laura, poor thing! you are aware that she is not quite so clever as she might be; she never had any memory:  when a child, she never could recollect the evening hymn if she missed it two nights running; so that acting was out of the question with her.  So that all my hopes of their forming a splendid establishment by that channel have vanished.  Now, my dear Mr Heaviside, what would you propose?”

“Why, really, ma’am, it is so difficult to advise in these times; but, if anxious to dispose of your daughters, why not send them out to India?”

“We have thought of it several times; for Mr Revel has an uncle there unmarried, and they say very rich.  He is a colonel in the Bombay marine, I believe.”