“‘And what makes you,’ said she, ’so early here, Billy?—­What a rakish figure dost thou make!—­One time or other these courses will yield you but little comfort, on reflection:  would to God thou wast but happily married!’

“’So, Madam, the old wish!—­I’m not so bad as you think me:—­I hope I have not merited so great a punishment.’

“These hints I give, not as matter of glory, but shame:  yet I ought to tell you all the truth, or nothing.  ‘Meantime,’ thought I, (for I used to have some compunction for my vile practices, when cool reflection, brought on by satiety, had taken hold of me) ’I wish this sweet girl was grown to years of susceptibility, that I might reform this wicked course of life, and not prowl about, disturbing honest folks’ peace, and endangering myself.’  And as I had, by a certain very daring and wicked attempt, in which, however, I did not succeed, set a hornet’s nest about my ears, which I began to apprehend would sting me to death, having once escaped an ambush by dint of mere good luck; I thought it better to remove the seat of my warfare into another kingdom, and to be a little more discreet for the future in my amours.  So I went to France a second time, and passed a year there in the best of company, and with some improvement both to my morals and understanding; and had a very few sallies, considering my love of intrigue, and the ample means I had to prosecute successfully all the desires of my heart.

“When I returned, several matches were proposed to me, and my good mother often requested me to make her so happy, as she called it, as to see me married before she died; but I could not endure the thoughts of the state:  for I never saw a lady whose temper and education I liked, or with whom I thought I could live tolerably.  She used in vain therefore to plead family reasons to me:—­like most young fellows, I was too much a self-lover, to pay so great a regard to posterity; and, to say truth, had little solicitude at that time, whether my name were continued or not, in my own descendants.  However, I looked upon my mother’s Pamela with no small pleasure, and I found her so much improved, as well in person as behaviour, that I had the less inducement either to renew my intriguing life, or to think of a married state.

“Yet, as my mother had all her eyes about her, as the phrase is, I affected great shyness, both before her, and to the girl; for I doubted not, my very looks would be watched by them both; and what the one discovered would not be a secret to the other; and laying myself open too early to a suspicion, I thought, would but ice the girl over, and make her lady more watchful.

“So I used to go into my mother’s apartment, and come out of it, without taking the least notice of her, but put on stiff airs; and as she always withdrew when I came in, I never made any pretence to keep her there.

“Once, indeed, my mother, on my looking after her, when her back was turned, said, ’My dear son, I don’t like your eye following my girl so intently.—­Only I know that sparkling lustre natural to it, or I should have some fear for my Pamela, as she grows older.’