But here’s war declared against my poor gums, it seems.  Well, I will never open my mouth before your lady as long as I live, if I can help it.  I have for these ten years avoided to put on my cravat; and for what reason, do you think?—­Why, because I could not bear to see what ruins a few years have made in a visage, that used to inspire love and terror as it pleased.  And here your—­what-shall-I-call-her of a wife, with all the insolence of youth and beauty on her side, follows me with a glass, and would make me look in it, whether I will or not.  I’m a plaguy good-humoured old fellow—­if I am an old fellow—­or I should not bear the insults contained in your letter.  Between you and your lady, you make a wretched figure of me, that’s certain.—­And yet ’tis taking my part.

But what must I do?—­I’d be glad at any rate to stand in your lady’s graces, that I would; nor would I be the last rake libertine unreformed by her example, which I suppose will make virtue the fashion, if she goes on as she does.  But here I have been used to cut a joke and toss the squib about; and, as far as I know, it has helped to keep me alive in the midst of pains and aches, and with two women-grown girls, and the rest of the mortifications that will attend on advanced years; for I won’t (hang me if I will) give it up as absolute old age!

But now, it seems, I must leave all this off, or I must be mortified with a looking glass held before me, and every wrinkle must be made as conspicuous as a furrow—­And what, pray, is to succeed to this reformation?—­I can neither fast nor pray, I doubt.—­And besides, if my stomach and my jest depart from me, farewell, Sir Simon Darnford!

But cannot I pass as one necessary character, do you think:  as a foil (as, by-the-bye, some of your own actions have been to your lady’s virtue) to set off some more edifying example, where variety of characters make up a feast in conversation?

Well, I believe I might have trusted you with my daughter, under your lady’s eye, rake as you have been yourself; and fame says wrong, if you have not been, for your time a bolder sinner than ever I was, with your maxim of touching ladies’ hearts, without wounding their ears, which made surer work with them, that was all; though ’tis to be hoped you are now reformed; and if you are, the whole country round you, east, west, north, and south, owe great obligations to your fair reclaimer.  But here is a fine prim young fellow, coming out of Norfolk, with one estate in one county, another in another, and jointures and settlements in his hand, and more wit in his head, as well as more money in his pocket, than he can tell what to do with, to visit our Polly; though I tell her I much question the former quality, his wit, if he is for marrying.

Here then is the reason I cannot comply with your kind Mrs. B.’s request.  But if this matter should go off; if he should not like her, or she him; or if I should not like his terms, or he mine;—­or still another or, if he should like Nancy better why, then perhaps, if Polly be a good girl, I may trust to her virtue, and to your honour, and let her go for a month or two.