Skate-F. (with respect).  Ah, you do know the world, you do!

The C.C. Now, ALF, old man.  I’m ready for yer!  Give us ’old of yer ’and ...  Go slow now.  What’s the Vestry about not to put some gravel down ’ere?  It’s downright dangerous!  Whoo-up!  Blowed if I ain’t got some other party’s legs on!...  Sloide more?  Whadjer torking about!  I’m sloidin’ every way at once, I am!...  Stroike out?  I’ve struck sparks enough out of the back o’my ’ed, if that’s all!...  Git up?  Ketch me!  I’m a deal syfer settin’ dayown, and I’ll sty ’ere! [He stays.

A Nervous Skater (hobbling cautiously down the bank—­to Friend).  I—­I don’t know how I shall be in these, you know—­haven’t had a pair on for years. (Striking out.) Well, come—­(relieved)—­ skating’s one of those things you never forget—­all a question of poise and equi—­confound the things!  No, I’m all right, thanks—­lump in the ice, that’s all!  As I was saying, skating soon comes back to—­thought I was gone that time!  Stick by me, old fellow, till I begin to feel my—­Oh, hang it all!...  Eh? surely we have been on more than five minutes!  Worst of skating is, your feet get so cold!...  These are beastly skates.  Did you hear that crack?  Well, you may stay on if you like, but I’m not going to risk my life for a few minutes’ pleasure! [He returns to bank.

The Fond Mother (from bank, to Children on the ice).  That’s right, ALMA, you’re doing it beautifully—­don’t walk so much! (To French Governess), ALMA fay bocoo de progray, may elle ne glisse assez—­nayse par, Ma’amzell?

Mademoiselle.  C’est ELLA qui est la plus habile, elle patine deja tres bien—­et avec un aplomb!

The F.M. Wee-wee; may ELLA est la plus viaile, vous savvy.  Look at ELLA, ALMA, and see how she does it!

Mad. Vous marchez toujours—­toujours, ALMA; tachez donc de glisser un petit peu—­c’est beaucoup plus facile!

Alma.  Snay pas facile quand vous avez les skates toutes sur un cote—­comme moi, Ma’amzell!

F.M. Ne repondy a Ma’amzell, ALMA, and watch ELLA!

Ella.  Regardez-moi, ALMA.  Je puis voler vite—­oh, mais vite ... oh, I have hurt myself so!

Alma (with sisterly sympathy). That’s what comes of trying to show off, ELLA, darling! [ELLA is helped to the bank.

A Paternal Skate-Fastener.  ’Ere you are, Missie—­set down on this ’ere cheer—­and you, too, my little dear—­lor, they won’t do them cheers no ’arm, Mum, bless their little ’arts!  Lemme tyke yer little skites orf, my pooties. I’ll be keerful, Mum—­got childring o’ my own at ‘ome—­the moral o’ your two, Mum!

The F.M. (to Governess).  Sayt un homme avec un bong ker.  Avez-vous—­er—­des cuivres, Ma’amzell?