JOHN JAMES SMITH, Esq., THOMAS JENKINS ROBINSON, Esq., and JAMES WALLOP BROWN, Esq., of the Bengal Civil Service.

And also that of an equal dignity of the same exalted Order, on His Royal Highness, GINGEREE BABIHOY, JABBERJEEHOY, the Reigning Jam of Jollipore.*

JOHN JAMES SMITH, Esq., educated at Harrow, Commissioner of Gunenjore, 1878; Collector of Poojah, 1880; Acting-Deputy at Boorgipore, 1887, &c., &c.

THOMAS JENKINS ROBINSON, Author of The Paper Rupee.  What is its Commercial Value? Sat on the Puttialah Commission in 1870.  Suspended for insubordination, 1882.  Removed to Gallichuddah, 1888.  Part Author of The Governor-General’s Goose, and who is to Cook It?

JAMES WALLOP BROWN, Esq., son of JOHN WALLOP BROWN, Esq., of The Nut-crackers, Upper Putney.  Author of Brown’s Digest of Synthetical Illusions! Collector of Naggerpore, 1886; Boorafoola, 1885; Chourmgee, 1886, &c., &c.

H.R.H. the Jam of JOLLIPORE, the 29th descendant in direct line from GINGER KHAN, the conqueror of the Moguls.  Gave 100,000 Rupees to the foundation of the New Indian Hospital in the Mile End Road.  Translator of SHAKSPEARE into the Puttialah dialect, &c., &c.  Founder of the European University of Jollipore.

* * * * *

Latest Additions.—­Messrs. A. & F. PEARS.  To be Companions of the Bath.

“General” BOOTH.  To be Knight Commander of the Bath.  To enable him to deal more effectually with the “Submerged Tenth.”

ZADKIEL and Old MOORE.  The Most Distinguished Order of The Tinsel Star.  For eminent services to Astronomy.

Mr. W.H.  STEAD.  The Most Honourable Order of the Golden Scoop.  For his enterprise in reviewing Reviews, and gallantry in storming Magazines.

Mr. MACDOUGALL.  The Order of the Free Pass.  For services to Morality.  Mr. O’BRIEN.  The Order of Retreat.  For a short period.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A WAY OF PUTTING IT.

Author.  “DO YOU LIKE MY VERSES?”

Pompous Critic.  “OH, IMMENSELY!  I OBSERVE THAT THE EXIGENCIES OF RHYME HAVE OCCASIONALLY LED TO A FELICITY OF EXPRESSION WHICH—­WHICH ALMOST COMPELS ONE TO ASSUME THE ORIGINAL EXISTENCE OF IDEAS!”]

* * * * *

AT THE END OF THE YEAR.

THE FRIEND’S REPLY.

  I thought your lines a great success,
    (You always did write rather neatly)
  Although I must at once confess
    I can’t agree with you completely.

  Of course I recollect quite well
    How long we sat and smoked together,
  And how our conversation fell
    (As fall it will) upon the weather.

  Our prospects then seemed bright and fair,
    (Our language certainly got stronger)
  We built our castles in the air,
    And by degrees our drinks grew longer.