Mr. C. There, then, it was all fun—­no harm meant.  I’ll read the next.  “Mr. LIMPETT met Miss ZEFFIE in the Burlington Arcade.  He said to her, ‘O, you little duck!’ She said to him, ’Fowls are cheap to-day!’ The consequences were that they never smiled again, and the world said, ‘What price hot potatoes?’” (Everybody looks depressed.) H’m—­not bad—­but I think we’ll play something else now. [ZEFFIE perceives that ALGY is not pleased with her.

Tommy. (To Uncle JOSEPH).  Uncle, why didn’t you carve at dinner?

Uncle J. Well, TOMMY, because the carving was done at a side table—­and uncommon badly done, too.  Why do you want to know?

Tommy.  Parpar thought you would carve, I know.  He told Mummy she must ask you, because—­

Mrs. C. (With a prophetic instinct.) Now, TOMMY, you mustn’t tease your Uncle.  Come away, and tell your new Aunt ZEFFIE what you’re going to do with your Christmas boxes.

Tommy.  But mayn’t I tell him what Parpar said, first?

Mrs. C. No, no; by and by—­not now! [She averts the danger.

[Later; the Company are playing “Hide the Thimble;” i.e., someone has planted that article in a place so conspicuous that few would expect to find it there.  As each person catches sight of it, he or she sits down.  Uncle JOSEPH is still, to the general merriment, wandering about and getting angrier every moment.

Mr. C. That’s it, Uncle, you’re warm—­you’re getting warm!

Uncle J. (Boiling over.) Warm, Sir? I am warm—­and something more.  I can tell you! [Sits down with a bump.

Mr. C. You haven’t seen it!  I’m sure you haven’t seen it.  Come now, Uncle!

Uncle J. Never mind whether I have or have not.  Perhaps I don’t want to see it, Sir!

The Children.  Then do you give it up?  Do you want to be told?  Why, it’s staring you in the face all the time!

Uncle J. I don’t care whether it’s staring or not—­I don’t want to be told anything more about it.

The Children.  Then you’re cheating, Uncle—­you must go on walking till you do see it!

Uncle J. Oh, that’s it, eh?  Very well, then—­I’ll walk!

    [Walks out, leaving the company paralysed.

Mrs. C. Run after him, TOMMY, and tell him—­quick! [Exit TOMMY.

Mr. C. (feebly).  I think when Uncle JOSEPH does come back, we’d better try to think of some game he can’t lose his temper at.  Ah, here’s TOMMY!

Tommy.  I told him—­but he went all the same, and slammed the door.  He said I was to go back and tell you that you would find he was cut up—­and cut up rough, too!

Mrs. C. But what did you tell him?