Mrs. C. (to the Fiancee).  Well, my dear, I don’t approve of young men getting engaged until they have some prospects of being able to marry, and dear ALGY was always my favourite brother, and I’ve seen so much misery from long engagements.  However, we must hope for the best, that’s all!

A Maiden Aunt (to Second Ditto).  Exactly what struck me, MARTHA. One waiter would have been quite sufficient, and if JAMES must be grand and give champagne, he might have given us a little more of it; I’m sure I’d little more than foam in my glass!  And every plate as cold as a stone, and you and I the only people who were not considered worthy of silver forks, and the children encouraged to behave as they please, and JOSEPH PODMORE made such a fuss with, because he’s well off—­and not enough sweetbread to go the round.  Ah, well, thank goodness, we needn’t dine here for another year!

Mr. Chipperfield (at the door).  Sorry to cut you short in your cigar, Uncle, and you LIMPETT; but fact is, being Christmas night, I thought we’d come up a little sooner and all have a bit of a romp....  Well, EMILY, my dear, here we are, all of us—­ready for anything in the way of a frolic—­what’s it to be?  Forfeits, games, Puss in the Corner, something to cheer us all up, eh?  Won’t anyone make a suggestion? [General expression of gloomy blankness.

Algernon (to his Fiancee—­whom he wants to see shine).  ZEFFIE, you know no end of games—­what’s that one you played at home, with potatoes and a salt-spoon, you know?

Zeffie (blushing).  No, please, ALGY!  I don’t know any games, indeed, I couldn’t, really!

Mr. C. Uncle JOSEPH will set us going, I’m sure—­what do you say, Uncle?

Uncle Joseph.  Well, I won’t say “no” to a quiet rubber.

Mrs. C. But, you see, we can’t all play in that, and there is a pack of cards in the house somewhere; but I know two of the aces are gone, and I don’t think all the court cards were there the last time we played.  Still, if you can manage with what is left, we might get up a game for you.

Uncle J. (grimly).  Thank you, my dear, but, on the whole, I think I would almost rather romp—­

Mr. C. Uncle JOSEPH votes for romping!  What do you say to Dumb Crambo?  Great fun—­half of us go out, and come in on all-fours, to rhyme to “cat,” or “bat,” or something—­you can play that, LIMPETT?

Mr. Limpett.  If I must find a rhyme to cat, I prefer, so soon after dinner, not to go on all-fours for it, I confess.

Mr. C. Well, let’s have something quieter, then—­only do settle.  Musical Chairs, eh?

Algy.  ZEFFIE will play the piano for you—­she plays beautifully.

Zeffie.  Not without notes, ALGY, and I forgot to bring my music with me.  Shall we play “Consequences”?  It’s a very quiet game—­you play it sitting down, with paper and pencil, you know!