On the fifth of November the freshman sallies forth only to find, with a sense of bitter disappointment, that the rows between Town and Gown are things of the past.  He will have discovered ere this that undergraduate etiquette has ordained that while he wears a cap and gown he must forswear gloves, and leave his umbrella at home, even though the rain should pour down in torrents.  All these ordinances he observes strictly, though he can neither be “hauled” nor “gated” for setting them at defiance.  Towards the end of his first term he begins to realise more accurately the joys and privileges of University life, he has formed his set, and more or less found his level, he has become a connoisseur of cheap wine, he has with pain and labour learned to smoke, he has certainly exceeded his allowance, and he returns to his home with the firm conviction that he knows a great deal of life.  He will terrify his mother with tales of proctorial misadventures, and will excite the suspicions of his father by the new brilliance of his attire.  Indeed it is a curious fact that whatever the special pursuit of the Average Undergraduate may be, and whatever may be the calling and profession of his father, the two are generally engaged in a financial war.  This always ends in the triumph of the older man, who never scruples to use the power which the possession of the purse gives him in order to discomfit his son.  From a University point of view, the average father has as little variety as the average son.

It must be noted that away from the University or his family circle, and in the society of ladies, the Average Undergraduate is shy.  The wit that flashed so brilliantly in the College Debating Club is extinguished, the stream of humour that flowed amidst shouts of laughter in the Essay Society is frozen at its source, the conversation that delighted the frequenters of his rooms is turned into an irresponsive mumble.  But as soon as he returns to the academic groves, and knows that petticoats are absent, and that his own beloved “blazer” is on his back, Richard is himself again.  He has his undergraduate heroes whom he worships blindly, hoping himself to be some day a hero and worthy of worship.  Moreover, there are in every College traditions which cause the undergraduate who is a member of it to believe that the men of that particular society are finer fellows than the men of any other.  These traditions the Average Undergraduate holds as though they were articles of his religion.

The Average Undergraduate generally takes a respectable position as a College oarsman or cricketer, though he may fail to attain to the University Eight or to the Eleven.  He passes his examinations with effort, but still he passes them.  He recks not of Honours.  The “poll” or the pass contents him.  Sometimes he makes too much noise, occasionally he dines too well.  In London, too, his conduct during vacations is perhaps a little exuberant, and he is often inclined to treat the promenades at the Leicester