Ang. (sitting up).  Very well—­if you will have it, you must.  But you can’t really have forgotten how you stood before the footlights, making the most horrible faces, as if you were in front of a looking-glass.  All those other creatures were doing it, too; but, oh, EDWIN, yours were far the ugliest—­they haunt me still....  I mustn’t think of them—­I won’t! [Buries her face again.

Ed. (reddening painfully).  No, I say—­did I? not really—­without humbug, ANGELINA!

Ang. You know best if it was without humbug!  And, after that, he gave you a glass of cuc-cod-liver oil, and—­and pup-pup-paraffin, and you dud-drank it up, and asked for more, and said it was the bub-bub-best Scotch whiskey you ever tasted.  You oughtn’t even to know about Scotch whiskey!

Ed. I can’t know much if I did that.  Odd I shouldn’t remember it, though.  Was that all?

Ang. Oh, no.  After that you sang—­a dreadful song—­and pretended to accompany yourself on a broom.  EDWIN, you know you did; you can’t deny it!

Ed. I—­I didn’t know I could sing; and—­did you say on a broom?  It’s bad enough for me already, ANGELINA, without howling!  Well, I sang—­and what then?

Ang. Then he put out a cane with a silver top close to your face, and you squinted at it, and followed it about everywhere with your nose; you must have known how utterly idiotic you looked!

Ed. (dropping into a chair).  Not at the time....  Well, go on, ANGELINA; let’s have it all.  What next?

Ang. Next?  Oh, next he told you you were the Champion Acrobat of the World, and you began to strike foolish attitudes, and turn great clumsy somersaults all over the stage, and you always came down on the flat of your back!

Ed. I thought I felt a trifle stiff.  Somersaults, eh?  Anything else? (With forced calm.)

Ang. I did think I should have died of shame when you danced?

Ed. Oh, I danced, did I?  Hum—­er—­was I alone?

Ang. There were four other wretches dancing too, and you imitated a ballet.  You were dressed up in an artificial wreath and a gug-gug-gauze skirt.

Ed. (collapsing).  No??  I wasn’t!...  Heavens!  What a bounder I must have looked!  But I say, ANGIE, it was all right.  I suppose?  I mean to say I wasn’t exactly vulgar, or that sort of thing, eh?

Ang. Not vulgar?  Oh, EDWIN?  I can only say I was truly thankful Mamma wasn’t there!

Ed. (wincing).  Now, don’t, ANGELINA it’s quite awful enough as it is.  What beats me is how on earth I came to do it all.

Ang. You see, EDWIN, I wouldn’t have minded so much if I had had the least idea you were like that.