“Dear Diary!” as one of Mr. F.C.  PHILLIPS’s heroines used to address her little book, but DE LA RUE’s are not “dear Diaries,” nor particularly cheap ones.  This publisher is quite the Artful Dodger in devising diaries in all shapes and sizes, from the big pocket-book to the more insidious waistcoat-pocket booklet,—­“small by degrees, but beautifully less.”

“Here’s to you, TOM SMITH!”—­it’s BROWN in the song, but no matter,—­“Here’s to you,” sings the Baron, “with all my heart!” Your comic gutta-percha-faced Crackers are a novelty; in fact, you’ve solved a difficulty by introducing into our old Christmas Crackers several new features.

This year the Baron gives the prize for pictorial amusement to LOTHAR MEGGENDORFER (Gods! what a name!), who, assisted by his publishers, GREVEL & CO., has produced an irresistibly funny book of movable figures, entitled Comic Actors.  What these coloured actors do is so moving, that the spectators will be in fits of chuckling.  Recommended, says THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

* * * * *

“WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS.”

ARGUMENT.—­EDWIN has taken ANGELINA, his fiancee, to an entertainment by a Mesmerist, and, wishing to set his doubts at rest, has gone upon the platform, and placed himself entirely at the Mesmerist’s disposition.  On rejoining ANGELINA, she has insisted upon being taken home immediately, and has cried all the way back in the hansom—­much to EDWIN’s perplexity.  They are alone together, in a Morning-room; ANGELINA is still sobbing in an arm-chair, and EDWIN is rubbing his ear as he stands on the hearthrug.

Edwin.  I say, ANGELINA, don’t go on like this, or we shall have somebody coming in!  I wouldn’t have gone up if I’d known it would upset you like this; but I only wanted to make quite sure that the whole thing was humbug, and—­(complacently)—­I rather think I settled that.

Ang. (in choked accents).  You settled that?—­but how?...  Oh, go away—­I can’t bear to think of it all! [Fresh outburst.

Ed. You’re a little nervous, darling, that’s all—­and you see, I’m all right.  I felt a little drowsy once, but I knew perfectly well what I was about all the time.

Ang. (with a bound).  You knew?—­then you were pretending—­and you call that a good joke! Oh!

Ed. Hardly pretending.  I just sat still, with my eyes shut, and the fellow stroked my face a bit.  I waited to see if anything would come of it—­and nothing did, that’s all.  At least, I’m not aware that I did anything peculiar.  In fact, I’m certain I didn’t. (Uneasily.) Eh, ANGELINA?

Ang. (indistinctly, owing to her face being buried in cushions).  If you d-d-d-on’t really know, you’d bub-bub-better-not ask—­but I believe you do—­quite well!

Ed. Look here, ANGIE, if I behaved at all out of the common, it’s just as well that I should know it.  I don’t recollect it, that’s all.  Do pull yourself together, and tell me all about it.