“What does a Tommy do,” he inquired, “if he meets an officer wheeling a wheelbarrow?”

“Who is wheeling the barrow,” inquired the meticulous Struthers—­“the officer or the Tommy?”

“The Tommy, of course!” replied Waddell in quite a shocked voice.  “What is he to do?  If he tries to salute he will upset the barrow, you know.”

“He turns his head sharply towards the officer for six paces,” explained the ever-ready Struthers.  “When a soldier is not in a position to salute in the ordinary way—­”

“I say,” inquired Bobby Little rather shyly, “do you ever look the other way when you meet a Tommy?”

“How do you mean?” asked everybody.

“Well, the other day I met one walking out with his girl along the road, and I felt so blooming de trop that—­”

Here the “fall-in” sounded, and this delicate problem was left unsolved.  But Mr. Waddell, who liked to get to the bottom of things, continued to ponder these matters as he marched.  He mistrusted the omniscience of Struthers and the superficial infallibility of the self-satisfied Cockerell.  Accordingly, after consultation with that eager searcher after knowledge, Second Lieutenant Little, he took the laudable but fatal step of carrying his difficulties to one Captain Wagstaffe, the humorist of the Battalion.

Wagstaffe listened with an appearance of absorbed interest.  Finally he said—­

“These are very important questions, Mr. Waddell, and you acted quite rightly in laying them before me.  I will consult the Deputy Assistant Instructor in Military Etiquette, and will obtain a written answer to your inquiries.”

“Oh, thanks awfully, sir!” exclaimed Waddell.

The result of Captain Wagstaffe’s application to the mysterious official just designated was forthcoming next day in the form of a neatly typed document.  It was posted in the Ante-room (the C.O. being out at dinner), and ran as follows:—­

SALUTES

YOUNG OFFICERS, HINTS FOR THE GUIDANCE OF

The following is the correct procedure for a young officer in charge of an armed party upon meeting—­

(a) A Staff Officer riding a bicycle.

Correct Procedure.—­If marching at attention, order your men to march at ease and to light cigarettes and eat bananas.  Then, having fixed bayonets, give the order:  Across the road—­straggle!

(b) A funeral.

Correct Procedure.—­Strike up Tipperary, and look the other way.

(c) A General Officer, who strolls across your Barrack Square precisely at the moment when you and your Platoon have got into mutual difficulties.

Correct Procedure.—­Lie down flat upon your face (directing your platoon to do the same), cover your head with gravel, and pretend you are not there.

SPECIAL CASES