* * * * *

TOO CIVIL BY HALF; OR, PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE.

(A DRAMA FOUNDED—­MORE OR LESS—­UPON FACTS.)

    ACT I.—­“PAST.”—­Interior of the Savings Bank Department of
    the G.P.O.  Employes engaged upon their work.  The hour for
    customary cessation of labour strikes.

Official of a Higher Grade.  Officers and Gentlemen, the exigencies of the Public Service require your presence for some time longer.  I beg you to continue your work.

A Hundred Employes.  Never! (Aside.) Ha! ha! the employment of Female Clerks is avenged!

Off. (almost in tears).  Reconsider your decision, I beg—­I implore!

Another Hundred Employes.  Never! (Aside.) Seven hours a day and no longer—­shall be secured at one fell swoop!

Off. (with indescribable emotion).  Oh, my country!  Oh, my Savings Bank Depositors!  Oh, my dignity of the Civil Service!

    [Faints in the arms of faithful Employes, whilst the other
    Clerks defiantly depart.  Tableau.

    ACT II.—­“PRESENT.”—­Magnificent apartments of the
    P.-M.-Gen. in the G.P.O.  Deputation of contrite Employes
    listening to the eloquent speech of their Official Chief.

P.M.G. (in effect).  I am delighted that you are such good fellows.  Your conduct in owning that you were wrong in refusing to work after regular official hours, almost effaces a painful page in the history of St. Martin’s-le-Grand.  Let it be clearly understood that extra work is not compulsory, but, if not undertaken, may lead (as in the present instance) to immediate suspension, if not dismissal.  Surely no one can object to that? (Contrite Officials express mournful approval.) And now good-bye, and A Happy New Year.  As for the future—­hope, my good friends, hope!

    [Exeunt the contrite Employes, leaving the Officials of a
    Higher Grade agitating the nerves controlling their eyelids
    spasmodically.

    ACT III.—­“FUTURE.”—­Same Scene as Act I. Venerable Employes
    discovered, after twenty years’ further service.

First Venerable Employe.  Remember the words spoken a score of winters ago—­Hope, brother, hope!

Second Venerable Employe.  Yes—­Hope, brother, hope!

    [As the Scene closes, the entire Establishment are left
    continuing the self-sustaining, but rather profitless
    employment, indefinitely.  Curtain.

* * * * *

A Son of the Pool.  By the Author of A Daughter of the Pyramids.

* * * * *

CHARLES KEENE

BORN AUGUST 10, 1823.  DIED JANUARY 4, 1891.