“A DESCRIPTION OF A GOVERNMENT MEETING.

 “The Government of College met,
  And Willard[31] rul’d the stern debate. 
  The witty Jennison[32] declar’d
  As how, he’d been completely scar’d;
  Last night, quoth he, as I came home,
  I heard a noise in Prescott’s[33] room. 
  I went and listen’d at the door,
  As I had often done before;
  I found the Juniors in a high rant,
  They call’d the President a tyrant;
  And said as how I was a fool,
  A long ear’d ass, a sottish mule,
  Without the smallest grain of spunk;
  So I concluded they were drunk. 
  At length I knock’d, and Prescott came: 
  I told him ’t was a burning shame,
  That he should give his classmates wine;
  And he should pay a heavy fine. 
  Meanwhile the rest grew so outragious,
  Altho’ I boast of being couragious,
  I could not help being in a fright,
  For one of them put out the light. 
  I thought ’t was best to come away,
  And wait for vengeance ’till this day;
  And he’s a fool at any rate
  Who’ll fight, when he can RUSTICATE. 
  When they [had] found that I was gone,
  They ran through College up and down;
  And I could hear them very plain
  Take the Lord’s holy name in vain. 
  To Wier’s[34] chamber they then repair’d,
  And there the wine they freely shar’d;
  They drank and sung till they were tir’d. 
  And then they peacefully retir’d. 
  When this Homeric speech was said,
  With drolling tongue and hanging head,
  The learned Doctor took his seat,
  Thinking he’d done a noble feat. 
  Quoth Joe,[35] the crime is great I own,
  Send for the Juniors one by one. 
  By this almighty wig I swear,
  Which with such majesty I wear,
  Which in its orbit vast contains
  My dignity, my power and brains,
  That Wier and Prescott both shall see,
  That College boys must not be free. 
  He spake, and gave the awful nod
  Like Homer’s Didonean God,
  The College from its centre shook,
  And every pipe and wine-glass broke.

“Williams,[36] with countenance humane, While scarce from laughter could refrain, Thought that such youthful scenes of mirth To punishment could not give birth; Nor could he easily divine What was the harm of drinking wine.

 “But Pearson,[37] with an awful frown,
  Full of his article and noun,
  Spake thus:  by all the parts of speech
  Which I so elegantly teach,
  By mercy I will never stain
  The character which I sustain. 
  Pray tell me why the laws were made,
  If they’re not to be obey’d;
  Besides, that Wier I can’t endure,
  For he’s a wicked rake, I’m sure. 
  But whether I am right or not,
  I’ll not recede a single jot.

 “James[38] saw ‘twould be in vain t’ oppose,
  And therefore to be silent chose.