“Yes,” replied the father.  “You see, if there is anything in him I think a long sea voyage will bring it out.”

Deserved to be Tried

The Judge was at dinner in the new household when the young wife asked:  “Did you ever try any of my biscuits, Judge?”

“No,” said the Judge, “I never did, but I dare say they deserve it.”

End of the Honeymoon

An old married man happened to meet a beaming bridegroom on the latter’S first day at business after the wedding trip.

“Hello!” said he; “finished your honeymoon yet?”

“I don’t know,” replied the happy husband, smiling.  “I have never been able to determine the exact meaning of the word honeymoon.”

“Well, then, has your wife commenced to do the cooking yet?”

If You Have a Mole

No one is said to be without a mole or two, and these are some of the prognostications that mole-wearers may draw from their brown ornaments;

A mole on the right side of a man’s forehead denotes wonderful luck; on the right side of a woman’s forehead, gifts from the dead.

On the left side of a man’s forehead a mole denotes a long term in prison, on the left side of a woman’s forehead, two husbands and a life of exile.

A man with a mole in the middle of his forehead has a cruel mind; a woman with such a mole is foolish and envious.

A mole on the neck in man or woman promises a long and happy life, wealth and fame.

A man with a mole on the left side of the upper lip rarely marries, and such a mole in the case of a woman denotes suffering.

On the right side of the upper-lip a mole promises great good fortune to both sexes.

Her Own Eyes Good Enough for Him

A little Scotch boy’s grandmother was packing his luncheon for him to take to school one morning.  Suddenly looking up in the old lady’s face, he said: 

“Grandmother, does yer specs magnify?”

“A little, my child,” she answered.

“Aweel, then,” said the boy, “I wad juist like it if ye wad tak’ them aff when ye’re packin’ my loonch.”

How Did He Know?

After dinner, when the ladies had gone upstairs, the men, over their coffee and cigars, talked, as men will, of love.

All of a sudden the host cried in a loud voice: 

“I will tell you, gentlemen, this is the truth:  I have kissed the dainty Japanese girl.  I have kissed the South Sea Island maiden.  I have kissed the slim Indian beauty.  And the girls of England, of Germany, even of America, I have kissed, but it is most true that to kiss my wife is best of all.”

Then a young man cried across the table: 

“By Heaven, sir, you are right there!”

So Mother—­So Son

Vincent was altogether too garrulous in school to please his teachers.  Such punishments as the institution allowed to be meted out were tried without any apparent effect upon the boy until at last the head Master decided to mention the lad’s fault upon his monthly report.