More than Enough

An eight-year-old boy went to a church picnic, and, being a favorite with the ladies, had been liberally supplied with good things to eat.  Later in the day one of the ladies noticed the boy sitting near a stream with a woebegone expression on his face and his hands clasped over his stomach.

“Why, what’s the matter, Willie?” she kindly asked.  “Haven’t you had enough to eat?”

“Oh, yes’m,” said the boy.  “I’ve had enough.  I feel as though I don’t want all I’ve got.”

His Only Request

A pretty young girl was walking through a Richmond hospital with delicacies for the sick and wounded.  She overheard a suffering young Confederate officer say, “Oh, my Lord!”

Wishing to rebuke him slightly she came to his bedside and said: 

“I think that I heard you call upon the name of the Lord.  I am one of His daughters.  Is there anything that I can do for you?”

He looked upon the lovely face.

“Yes,” he said, “please ask Him to make me His son-in-law.”

A Good Majority

A well-known English surgeon was imparting some clinical instructions to half a dozen students, according to “The Medical Age.”  Pausing at the bedside of a doubtful case he said:  “Now, gentlemen, do you think this is or is not a case for operation?”

One by one each student made his diagnosis, and all of them answered in the negative.

“Well, gentlemen, you are all wrong,” said the wielder of the scalpel, “and I shall operate to-morrow.”

“No, you won’t,” said the patient, as he rose in his bed; “six to one is a good majority; gimme my clothes.”

Ready to Accommodate Her

Attorney-General Moody was once riding on the platform of a Boston street car, standing next to the gate that protected passengers from cars coming on the other track.  A Boston lady came to the door of the car, and, as it stopped, started toward the gate, which was hidden from her by the men standing before it.

“Other side, please, lady,” said the conductor.

He was ignored as only a born-and-bred Bostonian can ignore a man.  The lady took another step toward the gate.

“You must get off the other side,” said the conductor.

“I wish to get off on this side,” came the answer in tones that congealed that official into momentary silence.  Before he could explain or expostulate Mr. Moody came to his assistance.

“Stand to one side, gentlemen,” he remarked quietly.  “The lady wishes to climb over the gate.”

A New Name for Them

One rainy afternoon Aunt Sue was explaining the meaning of various words to her young nephew.  “Now, an heirloom, my dear, means something that has been handed down from father to son,” she said.

“Well,” replied the boy thoughtfully, “that’s a queer name for my pants.”